Do Deaf Stalkers Exist?

Apparently, they do exist. This isn't the first time I talked about stalkers. I blogposted this subject earlier about hearing stalkers going after hearing people like crazed fans stalking movie stars. All this made me realize that there are very little discussions about Deaf stalkers. I believe now is a good time to address this reality about Deaf stalkers who go after Deaf people, and perhaps in rare cases go after hearing people though I've not heard of such a thing though the possibility does exist.

There are two kinds of stalkers.

1) Stalkers who actual stalk people in the flesh like following a person closely outside. A common occurrence precluding a physical attack or rape.

2) Stalkers who follow and/or harrass certain individuals via electronically such as the phone or internet.

Why do some Deaf people stalk another Deaf person? The reasons are many, of course. Some do it because of their utter hatred of the person for whatever reason. Some do it because they are obsessed and in love. Some do it to make money many like in a money making scam. The level and type of stalking varies as well as the reason for doing so.

Now, some people might protest or complain that hearing people do same thing and what I'm posting is unfair to Deaf people or may make a ridiculous accustion of "audism." It's true that hearing people do stalk as well but the differences lies in the size of a community. In this case, we have a Deaf community where the effects of a Deaf person stalking another Deaf person becomes much more magnified due to the more closed-knit community. A community where everybody basically knows everybody else. Especially in the Deaf blogosphere and Deaf forums on the internet.

In this day and age, the use of the internet gives special advantages for Deaf stalkers. A stalker would be able to harrass his/her victim anonymously or not. Or, perhaps more commonly, the stalker may "ask" his/her friends to sic on a particular person. Attacks could come in the form of name callings, damaging lies or outright lies, threats of bodily harm, libel, defamation, and so on. By making the complaints known to his/her friends or over the internet in a public format, the friends of a stalker will do the bidding instead. A stalker typically respond in a knee jerk fashion. It is usually a defense mechanism whenever one feels threatened and go about calling names and make wild accusations and claims. And in the process makes a fool of him/herself in public over the internet. This kind of action simply makes a stalker that much more transparent to the public. Just remember, a stalker's typical response over the internet usually come in the form of being overly defensive along with name calling and making wild claims.

Here are some Deaf stalkers stories I've found using Google to do my research on deaf stalking stories. It was no suprise to find very little Deaf stalkers stories or articles on the subject. The limited information on these things points to a serious problem.

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Example #1.

I have to use paper for persons who can't read lips. MY ASL sucks, but its all one-sided. You see I'm almost completely blind so when comicuating with the deafits very frustrating. I had a deaf stalker in fact and to be honest I didn't know what to think if I could even think. I couldn't seem to get it across to him to leave me alone. and talk about serious stalker issues. He kept trying to make out with me no matter how many times and ways I said no.

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Example #2.

grunter
07-19-02, 04:43 PM

Trust me Giles - sometimes the talkers are better than the deaf-mutes who won't and can't take "NO" for an answer. Why do I say this? Because I have a deaf stalker at one of the baths I frequent. All he ever wants to do is take you back to his room and *yeeuck* "cuddle."How do you sign "eff NO - I ain't here to play smoochie-smoochie?"

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Example #3.

When Anita left her abusive husband Ed, she found that escaping his violence would not be easy. She moved her two children into an apartment and sought expert advice on how to start a new life. She obtained an order of protection, a divorce, and full custody of her children. As she struggled to free herself from Ed, he began stalking her. Anita finally moved to a new city and even changed her name. Yet one afternoon when she picked up her children, Ed was waiting outside the school. Alarmed and frustrated, she prepared to flee again.

Anita's plight is hardly unique. Abusers often become stalkers. And stalkers tenaciously pursue their victims. Yet Anita's story is somewhat unusual. In her case, the stalker had little trouble finding his ex-wife because she has a disability: she is deaf. To locate Anita, Ed (who is also deaf) simply contacted the Social Security Administration to "inquire" whether the Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) checks his children receive as his dependents were reaching them. In answering Ed's question, the agency gave him Anita's new address.

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As you can see there are few stories or discussions about Deaf stalkers who stalk other Deaf/deaf/hh people. Or even articles on the subject. People may talk about a "Deaf stalker" as a tongue-in-cheek response in order to get the point across in a figurative and not literal manner. In other cases, it's very real and it does happen. The actual stalking in of itself is serious thing. Especially considering, for example, in the light of the rapes that have occurred on the campus of Gallaudet University for many years. I did a 3-part series covering this rape issue on the campus of Gallaudet University last year. In many cases, the stalking usually occurs prior to a rape event whether it's done physically or through electronic means such as the internet.

I'm sure many people may have noticed the times when people made anonymous comments in blogsites or even in forums as way to attack and harass continuously the people they don't like. Repeatedly coming over to post anonymous comments is merely a design to harass. This could, in fact, be a potential sign of a stalking taking place. It could also be a sign of insecurity and/or low self-esteem.

So, what can the victims do when it comes to electronic stalking?

First and foremost, keep a record of every incident whether it's emails, videos, a screen capture of the harrasser's websites that shows the offending materials, use of the Google or Yahoo cache to capture dead and live links, and so on. Note the time and date. Nothing is ever too small because all those information help draw a picture of the stalker should you have to take the case to a judge. Documentiation is very important.

In fact, there was a story about how a next door neighbor in the United Kingdom was harrassed and threated by an old 82 year old lady. . The neighbor was forced to document every incident, no matter how small, to the point where it gave enough proof for a judge to jail the woman. It may sound funny but it is not once you read the story. It's not funny for people who become victims of a stalker.

If you are a Deaf person who is stalked by another Deaf person, it's time that you share your stories here (or elsewhere if you have a blogsite or in a discussion forum). Have you ever experienced a stalker who have harassed you, made up lies about you, physically attacked you, or used websites or forums to defame you?'

Share your stories here. Also, don't be surprised on what you might find in my Haloscan comments by people who have nothing better than to go after me.

For more information on stalking, go to the Anti-stalker website.