Now, after thinking for a moment or two, aren't zombies technically "disabled" in the first place? You know, arms dropping off, missing eyeballs, missing or disintegrating brains, missing fingers, noses, etc? You get the idea. But have you ever seen zombies talk to each other? Why would they bother? They're dead. They just amble around mindlessly looking for fresh flesh to go after and turn those hapless once healthy victims into zombies.
Award winning director Tim Burton had this to say about using "disabled" zombies and the problems that might come with it in his upcoming 2011 zombie film.
The problem is also acknowledged by award-winning director Tim Burton, whose new zombie film ‘Dark Shadows’ is scheduled for release next year. ‘The issue here is that the vast majority of the cinema-going public has grown up only being exposed to white able-bodied zombies. As a result, I just don’t think people are ready to see the hero of a film smashing the living hell out of an Asian learning-disabled zombie in a wheelchair.’
But Burton is keen to try and change audience perceptions. ‘We’re filming two versions of my next movie, and when the DVD is released it will come with the second version featuring disabled zombies. Although if I’m honest, the plot does suffer a bit. When the hero is cornered by a group of zombies on crutches, he just escapes down a flight of stairs before spending the rest of the movie hiding in a public library without wheelchair access.’Cueing on Burton's funny response about "disabled" zombies suppose we'd have a crowd of deaf zombies going after and terrorizing a bunch of hearing people and have a hearing hero save the day by "smashing the living hell out of Deaf zombies." I can see it already with some responding with outrage on claims of "avdism." Or show disgusts on how that zombie movie was attempting to inject subconsciously the viewing audience the idea of eugenics as being acceptable. Some might get the wrong idea just as Burton has said about using ethnic zombies to play the part.
Others in the industry, though, are concerned that unless is it is handled sensitively, including themes of ethnicity and disability in zombie movies could lead to prejudices being reinforced. ‘I recently saw a movie set in the American deep south,’ said film critic Mark Kermode, ‘in which a rural community is terrorised by a gang of Afro-Carribean zombies. I just worry that some, seeing the scene where the white farmers chase the black zombies out of town brandishing pitchforks and torches, might get the wrong idea and assume it’s a documentary.’Or something like that. *mumbles*
Funnily enough as I write this zombie blog piece I am also watching "Haunted Mansion" with Eddie Murphy where he and his daughter are inside a mausoleum being attacked by zombies reanimated from their slumbers inside their dusty, cobweb covered coffins. Yep. No eyeballs. No muscles. Already decayed flesh. All bones. No muscle tone whatsoever. Yet those zombies managed to walk and "see" where their intruders are. But if they were deaf how would you know? They still manage to hear sound, too. Go figure. And they go about their usual patented zombie walking stance with arms outstretched doing the whole "arrrgh" thing over and over. Btw, no vocal cords either. Hmmmm.
Now, really. You can hire deaf actors to play the zombie part but who would notice a deaf zombie? Wouldn't a group of deaf zombies be at a disadvantage when they cannot hear where their next victims are? Of course maybe it might work if they had hearing aids. Nah. Batteries would be dead long ago. Same for cochlear implants, too. If you think about it, it would look silly on them anyways. Though it'd be easy for a hearing hero to come up behind a deaf zombie and kill it a la Zombieland but to attract deaf zombies' attention by playing a banjo just wouldn't work here. No matter how much noise you'd try they wouldn't come out after you.
Maybe that's a good thing?
deaf zombies out there. In fact, some of them ultimately lost their sanity and brains after playing an engrossing zombie Monopoly game and became zombies themselves. Maybe it might be a good idea to contact Tim Burton and suggest some deaf zombies for a change? Seriously. Give it a Zombieland shot.
Three more days til Halloween. Are you gonna be a mindless deaf zombie who like to eat brains? Ok. Whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK!!
Aaarggh! (repeat ad nauseum).