"Why is it so hard for the deaf to deal with admitting they are alcoholics or drug addicts which is an impediment for recovery? Why is it so hard for them to stay sober once they have achieved it for a few weeks or months? What do you think the main reasons are?"The above quote came from an article from a person who have worked with the deaf for over 30 years although this article was probably written in the mid to late 1990s yet I'm sure it's still relevant today.
I recognize that alcoholism is an insidious thing and I applaud anybody who publicly announce and seek support from friends and families to help him or her through this trial by fire. Or even find ways to express their experience and battles like, for example, through YouTube or blogs. But doing these things are not a prerequisite but a choice on how to deal with this problem head on whether done privately or publicly.
I, myself, do not drink even though I was a licensed bartender at age 22 but it wasn't long until I figured out that I was really uncomfortable serving alcoholic drinks and getting approached by people under-21 years of age who try and ply a drink from me without ever showing a photo ID. Or notice a customer who had a bit much to drink and refuse to serve a drink only to get cussed at not knowing that I probably saved his life. After about a year, I quit being a bartender. No glory in serving or drinking alcoholic drinks. None at all. I know what alcohol can do. I know somebody who was drunk and got behind the wheel and passed out while driving. Luckly nobody was killed except this driver I personally know ended up paralyzed from the chest downward.
It ain't pretty and I'm sure many people recognize that. Or do they?
Now, imagine what I saw when I went to Gallaudet University where many weekend in 1988, 1989, and 1990 I got to see the after effects of weekend partying and Rock Festivals did people leave their vomits all over the place inside and outside of my dormitory building. Inside the elevators, on the stairwell, in hallways, outside of the dorm in the bushes, and so on. Even witnessed a freshman lying in his own vomit completely passed out in the freshman lounge area of Benson Hall on the 2nd floor where I stayed. College life and alcohol simply do not mix. Sorry, accept that idea and get it through your head on that one.
But what causes one to go down the path of alcoholism (or drugs for this matter)? There are many reasons and causes. The article explains one of the many reasons for alcoholism.
"Substance abuse is a sensitive issue about which the deaf community does not yet feel comfortable talking. For many with in the community, it remains a moral issue; the denial of pathological drinking is very strong." (Rendon, 1992)
Regardless, talking about it helps. It makes you more human by facing your demons. And that no one is ever perfect. If alcohol is a big part of your life, it's time to rethink that and seek support. Find alternative ways to avoid alcohol by taking up other activities to keep you busy.Talk about it. And perhaps one day you'll find yourself having no desire to drink and say, "No thanks. I don't drink."
ADDENDUM: Here are some links on more information on where to get help on a variety of substance abuses.
Substance and Alcohol Intervention Services for the Deaf at NTID.
The International Deaf Substance Abuse Message Board
Substance Abuse within the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community
Deaf and Hard of Hearing AA 12 Steps Recovery Resources
Northwest Deaf Addiction Center
The Minnesota Chemical Dependency Program for Deaf and Hard of Hearing Individuals
The National Information Clearing House Catalog: Addressing the Chemical Health
Needs of Deaf and Hard of Hearing Individuals, 2006 Edition
Substance and Alcohol Intervention Services for the Deaf
Deaf Adult Services
Anixter Center - Addiction Recovery of the Dea
The National Directory of Alcohol and Other Drugs Prevention and Treatment Programs
Accessible to the Deaf
Sponsored by the Michigan Coalition for Deaf and Hard of Hearing People
The Substance Abuse Resources & Disability Issues (SARDI) Program
Deaf and Hard of Hearing Recovery Resources
Treatment Options Listing
Addiction Recovery for the Deaf
McAlister Institute - Signs of Life
F.E.G.S. (formerly New York Society for the Deaf)
Deaf Addiction Services
Family Services Foundation
Signs of Sobriety
Substance and Alcohol Intervention Society for the Deaf
Substance Abuse & Dependence Bibliography
Western Region Outreach Center & Consortia
Northwest Deaf Addiction Center
Deaf and Hard of Hearing AA Recovery Resources
36 comments:
My son is a second-year student at the George Washington University. He tells me he sees the same things at his college as the stuff you described in your post. I think students at other colleges will confirm that as well.
That's not to condone those stuff that happen on Gallaudet and all other college campuses.
Growing up with hearing alcoholics, I wonder if this person ever dealt with people who are not deaf. Because the people I grew up with drank until the day they died. I watched them try to quit but they always went back to their old ways. I refuse to drink because of that.
I went to GWU as well while at the same time went to Gallaudet University.
Tell me, why is it so fun to stick your head into a toilet bowl and heave all the time?
I see this post pointing to an article that covers "Deaf Alcoholics". I wonder how many readers bothered to click on that link that points to that article. Surely Mike knows Gallaudet isn't the only university that has this problem.
Why so defensive, Marla and Anonymous, I wonder?
Candy,
Probably because Mike has a long history of targeting Gallaudet students and ASL users for common societal problems.
Was I defensive? Not at all.
It means I did not get the point of his post. Does he really believe that Gallaudet students think it is a barrel of fun to heave in a toilet bowl? His posts often single out Gallaudet in a way that I do not understand.
His post was very condescending, and rather tiresome. I know he will tell me I should stop reading his blog.
Marla, mine was a tongue in cheek rhetorical question about the toilet bowl. If they are going to drink in excess then they pay for the consequence of drinking.
So, I and people should ignore these problems at Gallaudet University? Which is more healthier? Hoping to see that less alcohol is consumed and greater responsibility on campus, or not?
Just as I have reported on the serious rape problems going on for years at Gallaudet University, I and many others would like to see that go down to zero. No?
How many would like to see improvements at Gallaudet University?
Deaf Pundit,
Nothing to do with "ASL" or students in general. So, I shouldn't point out about serious rape problems at Gallaudet or recount seeing abuse of alcohol on campus? Why are you defensive about Gallaudet University to the point of being afraid to bring some of these issues up?
I do not detect a sincerity or concern in his blog post.
Marla, concern over what? That the over consumption of alcohol is ok? That rape is ok? That alcoholism is ok? I made clear of my concerns and sincerity.
I'm not about to pretend that these things do not exist.
Mike,
Pardon? I'm being defensive? How so? I'm merely pointing out the fact that you have a long history of going after Gallaudet and the ASL Deaf. The majority of your blog posts regarding these topics has a negative slant to it.
"Going after Gallaudet"? So, Gallaudet is all bed of roses then? And that issues should not be brought up even if it might be a negative one?
Secondly, I have not once gone after "ASL Deaf" in the sense that ASL or culturally Deaf is the reason for blogging about it by "going after them." Remember, I have many friends who are "ASL Deaf" (whatever that means) but friends who are either Deaf, deaf, hh or hearing and whether they know sign or not.
So, according to you I should NOT discuss these serious issues that have occurred or are occurring at Gallaudet University?
If you haven't noticed, I blog on topics that most people wouldn't dare blog or vlog about. And that's what separates me from them. And, yes, I do have concerns and I'm sincere about them. I make my points known about these issues and bring them to light.
When you ask why they fail to stay sober, I would imagine that a huge reason for that if for lack of support due to communication access failures. Most AA meetings do not have enough money to be able to provide for interpreters, additionally they may also have a hard time finding a sponsor (an existing recovering alcoholic to help them stay sober) that is also either deaf or a fluent signer. Without this communication access, you would think it is easy to see why they would stay sober wouldn't ya? Granted, there may be a few "deaf only" AA groups across the country, but they are not accessible by many deaf people that live outside of those areas.
While I can appreciate you bringing up alcoholism and the deaf, but I think this posting may have been significantly been more effective if you at least tried to come up with reasons for it.
As for colleges, it pretty much happens at just about every college across the country, people are "finally liberated" from their parents and often do things that they cannot do at home, and that includes, as you so eloquently put it, sticking your head in a toilet bowl and heave all the time.
When I was in college back in the old days, there weren't really that many people that stuck their heads in a toilet bowl and heaved all the time. Heck, I used to host keg parties with 200+ people a lot at my place and I don't ever recall having to clean a toilet bowl due to puking. if there was ever any puking, they were usually smart enough to do it outside and it may have been 1 or 2 people at most, which would have been no more than 1% of the entire party so it wasn't all bad.
But back to my primary point, how can we better help deaf alcoholics get the assistance they need? I do have a couple deaf friends that are recovering alcoholics, but they had to go to deaf treatment centers out of state and their insurance paid for it. Not every deaf person has that privilege so how can we help these people? That would be an area worth discussing for sure.
i am with ADeafPundit
Valhallian, I came across an article about deaf and alcoholism. I provided the link. That was the reason for my blog and how it has evoked what I've experienced in dealing and seeing how alcohol was consumed. And, of course, college campuses will see their share of over-consumption of alcohol. And Valhallian, if you have never seen any puking after all those parties, then I don't know where you've been. I have seen and smelled vomits in elevators, on stairwells, outside of dorms, the hallway, in bathrooms, on plants and one passed out guy lying in his own vomit in the lounge room of Benson Hall. It was really that bad, seriously. This has happened many times, and I've seen them. I sure felt sorry for janitors who have the clean up that kind of crap.
But this is not about Gallaudet, it's about alcoholism.
As for helping, it is always a good idea. There are a variety of ways and depending on the person's willingness to admit the need to break away from the abuse of alcohol then it's a start.
British deaf drink a lot too, when asked why they do it, they say it oils the wheels of socialising. Because deaf are less able to attend mainstream areas and socialise with hearing, they drink for confidence there too. I know deaf people here who can drink 13 pints of lager or beer and not turn a hair so doing. Perhaps its a lack of confidence that drives deaf to drink to excess. Of course alcohol is cheaper than water in a bottle here, and children start very early, it's a Brit disease. The tables have turned somewhat in that Men are drinking more sensibly and women are the ones increasingly drinking far too much, hospital admissions show more women than men are being taken there.
Here is another bashing toward deaf.
Yes, I have sent my children to the universities around here. They told me about those drunks who were immediately sent to hospital to pump out the stomach.
Many many horror stories I learned from my kids are much more more than I went to R.I.T. AND Gallaudet which both were nothing compared to my kids' stories.
Not defensive, just that deaf people are not the only one with problems. I seen plenty of hearing alcoholics and most of them are veterans. (I live ppnear the VA) .I could go target them and blame the military for it but I know well enough there are plenty of people who are not veterans and drinks (some have mental illness) so it isn't fair for me to target a specific group as if they are the only one with problems.
if you really want to discuss alcoholism among deaf people and lack of help, let's talk about oral only deaf and lack of expressing themselves with counselors because of too many "what did you say?" Or worst, sit out in AA meeting and have a difficult time picking up discussions unless everyone is willing to wear a FM microphone (just like classroom dicussions) . People with severe to profound deaf and depend heavily on hearing aids (or CI) are going to have as much issues as any deaf out there. And I truly think they have less help than deaf people who sign as they have plenty of support. They may not even get help because they don't want to deal with the communication issues.
Mike went to Gallaudet, this is a deaf blog so it would make sense for him to cover specifically deaf alcoholics and mention Gallaudet.
I do see "defensive" being in play here.
It's an interesting perspective when one thinks Mike is "targeting" people.
Exactly HOW is he targeting? Because he brought up 'deaf' and 'Gallaudet'? That is very lame and I think these people are "targeting" Mike and they want to tell Mike how to blog. You don't tell people how to blog. You just don't.
Mike is deaf. He blogs under two deaf aggregators. He attended Gallaudet. He covers alcoholism and his experience at Galladuet. Which in fact is true. Does that mean Gallaudet has this problem and no one else? No.
Why would Mike want to blog about alcoholism at another university he attended that isn't a 'deaf' university when he's blogging in a deaf aggregator? Why should Mike blog about deaf alcoholism at NTID when he has never attended NTID? (we all know these kids in NTID party hard as well and I'm sure they vomited, hanging their head over toilet bowls or laid in their own vomit).
So, according to deaf pundit, bloggers should not be discussing negative stuffs on DeafRead, because to do so would indicate the person is "going after" certain group of people?
So, Mike blogs about this....we can discuss it or not. If someone does not like his post, it's too bad, really. Don't read it. But to try and tell a blogger to quit covering topics that puts deaf people in a bad light, is like pretending these problems don't exist.
Why is it okay for other writers to cover other universities but it isn't okay for Mike to cover Gallaudet and their alcohol problems? Is it better for a non alumni to cover Gallaudet and their alcohol problems?
I'm scratching my head, right away I AM SEEING defensive in play here.
Valhallian...Mike said:
"There are many reasons and causes. The article explains one of the many reasons for alcoholism."
He did cover it to some extent. I found a few other articles that points to best approach in reducing alcohol use on campuses. Comments should be an area where people actually come up with reasons and/or solutions. But, no....it would seem bloggers can't discuss anything that covers deaf people in a negative way. Truth is, they can. They can write about anything they want to. No one should be telling bloggers what and what not to write.
Here is an interesting article. I wonder how Gallaudet handles student binge drinking on campus? Perhaps they need to follow the recommendations proposed by National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.
http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2010/07/28/alcohol
Let me expand a bit about what I blog when people think what I do is an attack versus doing my usual investigative blogging that I do often.
Had there had been a legitimate, integrity-driven journalist entity within the so-called Deaf community, wouldn't those issues been already reported? But we don't see that. Instead ya'll seem content on Deaf News and BnB to do stories that are mostly the benign stuff.
Has the BnB actually done any serious, in depth journalistic work about rape, alcoholism, miscommunication issues, and such investigative work? Or do they mostly do the commentary type of stories instead? We see hearing people who do investigative journalism against other hearing on helping expose the truth. Yet, but when it comes to Deaf people, it'd be verbotten?
Interesting.
Read my latest blog that pretty much ties into my response here for more of my comments.
If you blogged hearing women rapes at college or hearing alcoholics at University, deaf critics would complain about that, the site is ABOUT deaf people. Fact is, being deaf doesn't create an immunity to what affects hearing people too. Perhaps it is the suggestion with some sectors of deaf 'We don't do that..."
Mike, I can see where Marla is coming from. Your posts about ASL-using deaf people and Gallaudet are almost 100% negative. If you're serious about journalism, you'd be more balanced, reporting both positive and negative events.
Because of your tendencies, people see you in the same light you see, say, Keith Olbermann- just a guy out on a hatchet job. Would you take any attack on Sarah Palin from dailykos.com at face value? No? Exactly.
Or am I being too "defensive" for your taste? :)
-ben
Ben, let's not get selective here. I graduated from Gallaudet and, of course, what I write on issues related to Gallaudet University will naturally include signers (and not just "ASL using deaf people").
Next, who have I attacked personally on a daily/weekly/monthly basis each time I post? What I address mostly are on a variety of issues that I find compelling to address along with a menagerie of other things I write.
Ben, you're telling me what to do and how to blog. I blog what interest me, and not about "balance." I'm the ying that counters the yang, as JPR puts it.
And,btw, Olby isn't a journalist, he's a commentator.
>Ben, let's not get selective here. I graduated from Gallaudet and, of course, what I write on issues related to Gallaudet University will naturally include signers (and not just "ASL using deaf people").
Yes. Things spout up from Gallaudet, positive and negative. It's impossible not to notice you choose to exclusively focus on the latter.
>Next, who have I attacked personally on a daily/weekly/monthly basis each time I post? What I address mostly are on a variety of issues that I find compelling to address along with a menagerie of other things I write.
I never said you attacked people individually.
>Ben, you're telling me what to do and how to blog. I blog what interest me, and not about "balance." I'm the ying that counters the yang, as JPR puts it.
I never told you what to do. I was simply describing the landscape. If quoting JPR makes you feel better, cool.
>And,btw, Olby isn't a journalist, he's a commentator.
If you're a bona fida journalist, you'd balance your posts more.
-b
Yes. Things spout up from Gallaudet, positive and negative. It's impossible not to notice you choose to exclusively focus on the latter.
I point out my experiences or what I saw while there, I point out certain issues and concerns that rarely ever gets talked by the campus community (i.e. rape issues with verified data), I bring up other concerns, I am a critic and a supporter seeing that Gallaudet still has a lot of room to improve. What I see are people who do not like whenever other people point out some of the uglier things on campus. I shine a light on it and perhaps somebody in the administration will get it and see that something gets done right.
I never said you attacked people individually.
You left a dangling implication when you commented about attacks (i.e. "hatchet job") against a person using the Olby example. I don't attack individuals or groups. What I do is point out discrepancies, differences, concerns, things that I notice, and such by doing my own brand of analysis to the table.
I never told you what to do. I was describing the landscape. If quoting JPR makes you feel better, cool.
Ben, let's get real. You have attempted to tell me how I should blog by saying my blogging should be done with "more balance." It isn't lost on me about how people do not like what I write and get defensive about it rather seeing that Gallaudet University, for example, does have its own set of problems in a rather unique campus setting whenever I point them out.
If you're a bona fida journalist, you'd balance your posts more.
Notice my blog name? Kokonut Pundit. Do you know what a "pundit" is? But it's funny how you bring up the "bonafide journalist" push when suppose a journalist writes nothing but positive acclaims, positive blogs all the time, people would have no complaints. In fact, that kind of journalism would lack any balance according to your definition.
The word "journalist" does not imply balance. Certain expectation, sure, but it's not implied that such journalistic practices should be balanced because there are many reporting/writing activities that fall under the definition of journalism. I'm a pundit. A blogger. A commentator. I produce reproducible facts. I provide comments, links, references, thoughts and opinions based on my knowledge, understanding and experience. I said I do my own investigative blogging. My nature is to investigate, research and analyze. Even do a bit of being the devil's advocate.
If you think you can do a better job, then have at it. I wish all the luck in the world. I mean it. I'm not in the business to go and tell people how one must blog or vlog just because I don't like what they're writing. If they think what I do is negative, then that's their opinion. Many don't see it that way. I bring issues that most deaf bloggers wouldn't even think about doing. I point out things that would upset a lot of people. The question is why should they get upset if it's a serious problem? Better to ignore such problems and somehow do it in a more hushed tone?
I wonder.
Candy,
Thanks for that article link. Binge drinking is alcoholism, even if it's done on occasion over the weekends. This is something that I hope students on campus of Gallaudet University would publicly acknowledge.
Mike, you're a polemicist. If that's what you're aspiring to be, cool. But you have to accept consequences- opinionated writers/bloggers of all stripes get angry reactions. Criticism invites more criticism. You have to grow a thick skin, instead of being so preoccupied about it.
You have made some interesting posts. I respect your opinions even when I don't agree with them. However, your posts that ruminate about people's reactions are dull- am sure most would agree. Take this as a feedback not "telling you what to write".
Have a nice day.
-b
Oh another thing before I go, you missed the point of my original response.
The point simply is that if one went 100% negative about something, he'd be perceived as going on a hatchet job.
Can you name a single person who does his business like that who is taken seriously by people who aren't his fans? If dalykos screamed "GOP scandal!", would Repubs even turn their heads his direction? What's so hard to understand about this?
You took this as me telling you what to write. I was only basically saying if you wanted more people (other than your fans like Candy) to listen, you would have to be more balanced. Of course, what you write is completely up to you.
-b
No, I dont' aspire to argue in opposition to everything that moves. Alcoholism, for example, is hardly anything about arguing against the opposition but a realization of a continuing problem.
I understand about "criticism." I've been doing this for years. I'll continue to give my own opinion and criticism wherever necessary. It's deficient in thinking to think that my discussion on the serious rapes that continues to go on at Gallaudet is about attack Gallaudet University or "ASL-Deaf" people. Hardly. It's not about attacking but to bring up a continuing problem that Gallaudet has failed to rectify. Nothing unusual to point out their errors in their thinking when mine was based on facts.
Ben, thank you for commenting. But don't take me for a fool. I've been doing this for years and I know things work and what to expect. There is a time and place to respond to criticisms, especially the false kinds. But I'm just doing what I like doing and that is to blog, inform and entertain people.
Ben, please repost what you just wrote. I accidentally deleted it. My laptop response is quite jerky today for some reason and the mouse hit the wrong button instead of approving it I hit the delete button. Apologize for that.
Mike,
I understand.
Re: rapes at Gallaudet; of course, if the number of incidents is unusually high, we must talk about it. NO QUESTION about it. However, with the statistics you showed us, we can only know how many rapes were reported. There's no way to say whether students at Gallaudet are more or less likely to report a case compared to other schools (as well as over the years).
Don't get me wrong- this matter should be discussed, but it's impossible to draw any conclusions from those statistics alone.
The only way to know more is to poll students (at Gallaudet and other schools, with due anonymity, of course) on whether they had been raped on campus or by fellow students. That'd eliminate students' *likelihood* to report as a factor. I know I *would* support such an effort.
To improve things, it's important to criticize or question things.. just be fair about it. :)
Good luck with this blog!
-b
Mike,
Just found out that one in 4 college students will be raped or experience a rape attempt before they graduate.
Gallaudet has roughly 800 female students so that makes about 200 students who have experienced at least an attempted rape. Very sobering.
-b
Ben,
Because of the closed knitted community it' be more likely that many more rapes go unreported. This is either for fear of isolation, stigma and embarrassment is probably much greater in these instances. The decision to not report has numerous economic, psychological, social, and emotional consequences. There are numerous studies that report saying people with disabilities have higher incidence of rape or sexual violence due to, for example, lack of education on sexuality when compared to a hearing population. It'd be good to have an anonymous survey asking students at Gallaudet University if they ever experienced sexual violence or rape. But there is an underlying caveat when doing such a survey.
The questions you're asking were asked in a few studies. I suggest you get a hold of and read this one study:
Understanding the Needs of the Victims
of Sexual Assault in the Deaf
Community
A Needs Assessment and Audit
Researching Sexual Violence Project (RSVP)
Jennifer Obinna, Ph.D., M.S.S.W.
Sarah Krueger
Constance Osterbaan, Ph.D.
Jane M. Sadusky
Wendy DeVore
October 2005
I am deaf-alcoholic-sober 8 1/2 years. I post as Annoyomous
Writers can paint beautiful pictures throwing color on every page that dances when our universal words have time lending us the canvas. We busy ourselves as we sculpture our thoughts into a masterpiece that we mold together
by what we write, and we show our reflections.
Sometimes my heart moves into the depth of the ocean when the floodgates of my emotion come flowing in a rush, scattering the pieces of the mirror into the
crashing waves of my soul and I bleed.
I have internal deaf "cuts" that slashed inside of my soul when I was a child who lived in limited communication, and the cuts created a deep wound.
A bridge was torn down to put up walls that distanced me from the normal hearing world, and I would not let anyone in.
I lived in the house of my own making where there many rooms to wander in but I had become a prisoner there, forever alone.
What key opens the door to the world when you are a deaf child looking for a place in the sun? As a young person, I felt like I was wearing old shoes to walk the longest mile but I had to take every step to find a way to live with limitations.
Personally, I could not hear well, right from the day of my birth, and I felt a distance between myself and the world. It's a lot like being on the outside
looking at a basketball game, sitting on the sidelines while life goes on. Do you wait to be called in to play or do you stand up and tell the couch you want in? Is your self-esteem high enough to assert yourself in this life to be counted?
For the longest time, I sat on the sidelines of life, holding a bottle in my hand,and looking the other way. I got tired of playing the game so I walked out on
life.
Isolation became a "comfort zone" created for the lonely in a world of give and take. The winner takes all but the loser has nothing but, in that "nothingness," comes the easier, softer, way of living in a no man's land.
With my bottle, in a state of nothingness where void returns, a deaf woman lived in her silent world of pain, never reaching for a hand because the lie of her alcoholism was telling her that she was "terminally unique." "No one would ever understand me," she thought.
A drink takes a drink takes a body of a woman and throws her into the ocean.
She can not hear and there is only a whisper in the crashing waves that tumble down on her in a hush. She is drowning in the waters, with out a ship or an
anchor and she dies there, ten thousand times over.
The bottle becomes a tear that cries. The ocean sails its way into the bottle where a woman is left to drown. One day, I nearly shouted to the heavens, crying
out to our Creator. "God, if you're really there, could you help me stop drinking somehow?"
An angel came to me that became my husband and I stopped drinking
completely in as a middle age woman in the year of 2004.
Going on into my ninth year of sobriety soon, I find that sounds are not any louder then they were before. Sobriety did not cure my hearing loss and it did not give me a brand new heart, lock and key.
I still have the same doors to walk through, in and out of everyday. I still have the same family that I did before but my relationships with the people I
love have become different
In my alcoholism, I was in the frantic search for happiness and I never found any answers for myself in the bottom of a bottle.
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