Be proud....

There's a difference between being proud of who you are versus being proud of what you are when the latter focuses on what's missing about yourself versus the very being that makes you...you. Just like the whorls on your finger tips, each one is unique, so is each person. But being proud of who you are focuses on the whole you regardless of whether you have a hearing loss, vision loss, stuttering condition, loss of the legs or a paraplegic, a missing appendage or any number of conditions that may limit one's life. Acknowledging your condition is part and parcel of your whole being but it doesn't define you completely. Limitation doesn't define your successes. It's who you are that defines your successes. It's your drive, determination and faith in yourself. One can succeed despite his hearing loss.

Now, to say "despite" does not necessarily mean to hate one's hearing loss but rather that a person is undeterred by his or her deafness whether one wears a cochlear implant, hearing aid or none at all. That's how I see it. I see it as something that's progressively positive which is dependent on a lot of things. Just so happens deafness is merely a part of life's challenge.

I think some deaf people are naive whenever they talk in terms of the a-wordism. They don't realize what they are saying or doing to other deaf/hh people. I feel many do toss that word around recklessly just so they can feel better about themselves. A way to somehow legitimize themselves as being the "better group." A de facto group that must be mimicked and worshiped. All that reminds me of a purity test for people with hearing loss must meet or be forever branded just because they can hear better, have a particular communication preference or have alternative viewpoints. It's really sad whenever people behave like that.

All that brings me to this.

I say it's better to accept a person for who he/she is rather than to judge him/her for what he/she is when it comes to deafness. You see, I accept a deaf/hh person if she is comfortable with her speaking skill even if she doesn't know sign language. I accept a deaf/hh person even if he believes that SEE is the better sign language for him and other people, even for kids. I accept a deaf/hh person who prefers ASL and doesn't feel the need to speak. I accept a deaf/hh person who opines that hearing loss is life-limiting. And the same goes conversely when others say it isn't life-limiting.  I accept a deaf/hh person who believes that deaf babies need to have a cochlear implant or not at all. There are many valid points they all present but there is no need to use the a-wordism against other deaf and hard of hearing people. I may disagree but that is as far I'd go. I present my own viewpoints and opinions.

I think those who recklessly toss the a-wordism around against other deaf/hh people because they didn't like their viewpoints or opinions have some kind of self-esteem issues. I think many are constantly trying to legitimize themselves as a group and so they must resort to using the a-wordism...... alot. If not that perhaps a certain ego or jealousy may be a factor for behaving that way. Or perhaps they are unable to argue on merits alone and must resort to ad homenim by appealing to one's prejudices, emotions, or special interests rather than to one's intellect or reason. Whatever the manifestation as a reason for the justification on using the a-wordism against other deaf/hh people, it's all part and parcel of the whole legitimization process by de-legitimizing others. An attempt to legitimize one group as "de facto" while all others are irrelevant. Rather reckless, I'd say.

You see, I'm the better person because I have no need to accuse or go after other deaf/hh people by using the a-wordism out of spite. Intellectually and emotionally it does not make any sense. It has simply become an emotional crutch. An attempt to prop up and legitimize themselves at the expense of others.  A deep-seated need to whip out that a-wordism because doing so makes them feel better. And that, my friends, is a poor excuse and a serious problem by those who must deal with their own self-esteem and personal issues.

Am I proud to be deaf? No, that's the wrong tack because saying that focuses on what's missing or lacking. Instead, I'm proud of who I am. I'm just a guy who happens to have a hearing loss who wears a hearing aid. A guy who is fluent in speaking the English language and sign language. A guy who can hear. A guy who loves playing ragtime piano. A guy who succeeded in a lot of things in life irrespective of hearing loss. A guy who is a confident person who wishes to express himself in a different way.  A guy who understands that in life things can change for the worse or better. I know where I stand. I'm proud of who I am. And that is something that people will never take away from me no matter how many a-wordism is used against me. It's irrelevant and has no merits. It has simply become a crutch word in the name of the "legitimization" game.