I brought a bunch of notepads and pens to a family Thanksgiving dinner once and at the start of the evening, politely informed everyone that I didn't want to miss anything, so would they please write to me? I got two messages the entire night (both from the same distant cousin). One was "How is school?" and the other was some other statement I don't remember anymore. Very superficial. I responded in voice... was perfectly willing to meet everyone halfway... didn't happen. That was the last big family gathering like that that I ever attended. No bitterness or anger... I just stopped going. The burden of communication shouldn't be only on the deaf person. It should be shared by everyone, especially by those who profess to love that deaf person the most (his or her family). If that's not going to happen, especially if the deaf person in question directly ASKS for that, then there's no point in keeping up with pretenses. Just my view on it.Using the paper and pen route isn't exactly an ideal way to communicate effectively, especially in this day and age of communication technology, with your family members and not have real conversations using one liners which makes the whole conversation a tedious and boring process. Not a very engaging and interactive way of communicating. For example, read what Richard Hurst, Clois James, and Ashleigh Smith had to say when they took advantage of an existing communication technology in social settings with their family members using a face to face communication device.
If a technology exist that makes face to face communication possible, regardless what that device is, then why not take advantage of that technology instead of using the boring pen and paper method? Using such a technology can certainly help make conversations that much more engaging. Hearing people or non-sign language users would be much more apt to converse using a face to face communication technology than the old pen and paper method.