Nagin Gone Wonky and the Chocolate Factory

Remember all those Oompah Loompahs and other characters giving out sage musical advice? Now, what were those lyrics? Something like any port in a storm? Rowing and rowing but going nowhere in a post-Katrina storm?

Round the world and home again

That's the sailor's way

Faster faster, faster faster

There's no earthly way of knowing

Which direction we are going

There's no knowing where we're rowing

Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing

Is a hurricane a–blowing

Not a speck of light is showing

So the danger must be growing

Are the fires of Hell a–glowing

Is the grisly reaper mowing

Yes, the danger must be growing

For the rowers keep on rowing

And they're certainly not showing

Any signs that they are slowing

Yes, indeed. Nagin is constantly rowing and rowing with no signs that he's slowing with no earthly way of knowing which way he's going when the river starts overflowing. Maybe somebody ought to pull the plug out of the boat?

What I think what the correct blame is that God must be angry at Mayor Nagin and not the U.S. Why the U.S.? Didn't hurricane Katrina bore down on New Orleans? Where was Nagin?

But the funniest thing I've heard in a long time is the "chocolate" comment he made. You'd think he's talking about New Orleans needing a chocolate factory. Maybe with enough protests, marches and prayers, he'll probably think he will finally get the golden ticket to lift him and the city out of such a mess. Much of the mess is his to begin with.

I never thought my life could be

Anything but catastrophe

But suddenly I begin to see

A bit of good luck for me

'Cause I've got a golden ticket

I've got a golden twinkle in my eye

I never had a chance to shine

Never a happy song to sing

But suddenly half the world is mine

What an amazing thing

'Cause I've got a golden ticket

It's ours, Charlie!

I've got a golden sun up in the sky

I never thought I'd see the day

When I would face the world and say

Good morning, look at the sun

I never thought that I would be

Slap in the lap of luxury'

Cause I'd have said it couldn't be done

But it can be done

I never dreamed that I would climb

Over the moon in ecstasy

But nevertheless, it's there that I'm

Shortly about to be

'Cause I've got a golden ticket

I've got a golden chance to make my way

And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day

Good morning, look at the sun'

Cause I'd have said it couldn't be done

But it can be done

I never dreamed that I would climb

Over the moon in ecstasy

But nevertheless, it's there that I'm

Shortly about to be

'Cause I've got a golden ticket'

Cause I've got a golden ticket

I've got a golden chance to make my way

And with a golden ticket, it's a golden day

Strangely, those songs seem to fit Nagin's ongoing but surreal post-Katrina adventures and blame game. Remember those yellow school buses, Mayor Nagin?

Now, imagine a white governor of Lousiana saying those exact lines of Mayor Nagin's about a city or town will be "white chocolate" again someday. You can bet your buttinski that the ACLU will do something about it. Why, there will be so much outrage, the streets will be covered with a bunch of running hot, melted chocolates. But you know, white and dark chocolates are not much different when it comes down to ingredients. Just that the tastes are a bit different. One is sweet and one is bitter.

C'mon Mayor Nagin. Use some sense.

Any more bloggers with a Chocolate Factory story?
Mayor Nagin and the Chocolate Factory
Ray Nagin and the Chocolate Factory