My Say about DHH-CommUNITY

My first thought about DHH-community when it made its website debut a few months back was "What a great idea!" Now, did it bother me that the website was the brainstorm of several deaf and hard of hearing women from diverse backgrounds living in different parts of the country? Or the fact that many of them are career women or that they are also raising their kids, too? No. Why should I? All I had to do was look at their mission statement covering 4 different areas.

1. Facilitate a public discourse on key issues and policy solutions impacting our community.

So far, so good. This has been the case as we all ask the deeper (and sometimes troublesome) questions without resorting to mudslinging and ad homenim attacks which is against their policy. Bravo.

2. Respect diversity among us and take a stand against oppression from within and outside our community.

So far, the diversity is there, and it is growing. I am seeing more hard of hearing, deaf, and Deaf people come to DHH and contribute positive dialogue, even if we disagree. And that's important. None of the bullying tactic or ad hominem attacks since those kinds of talks do not contribute to dialogue and discovery. Many of us are showing respect despite what we believe. Keeping to this kind of attitude provides a better opportunity and chance to address fully the many deafness or deaf/hh-related issues on the table.

3. Exercise our first amendment rights without fear of undue reprisal and character assassination.

This was one of the biggest reason why DHH-commUNITY was formed. They decided that somebody had to take a stand against ad hominem attacks, bullying tactics or cyberbully, Sometimes it has to take the eyes of hard of hearing and deaf people to offer a different and fresh perspective from the eyes of Deaf people, even tho many hard of hearing do consider themselves as a Deaf person. And the reverse can be true, too. It's not about the have and have nots when it comes to on the ability to hear and derive useful benefits as a result. No. This is about one thing...hearing loss issues for all groups of people with all kinds of hearing loss from mild to profound. It's just not about the Deaf community. It's about all communities with people who have a hearing loss from mild to profound.

4. Empower the community to advocate for social change.

Nothing wrong with that. Everybody wants social change. Positive social change empowers us, the deaf and hard of hearing community, and Deaf community on many levels and breadth.


Now, the issue about DHH-commUNITY shouldn't be whether this was formed by a group of women, much less career women. Or group of women who are stay at home Moms raising their kids. Or career women who have kids. This isn't about womenhood. Or manhood. Or misogyny. This website forum isn't about feminism or the use of it to try and manipulate others. If any, I haven't seen such things. What I see is an open discourse in a forum where we can agree to disagree without resorting to personal attacks or cyberbullying. If anything, people should be applauded in trying to help make positive social changes without resorting to derisive attacks, implications, guess works, conspiracy theories, accusations, and innuendos. People who do that are not helping the situtation but make matters worse. And instead rely on facts and well reasoned opinions.

David King produced a good Part 3 article "Voice of Reason" on DHH-commUNITY. His analysis and factual reporting with his own opinions provided many readers and contributors to think about "what about the other side of the story?". The thing is that Gallaudet protesters shouldn't think that they are immune to the inquisitioning of their activities and actions. Or even their agenda is untouchable just because they are the larger group. What David has provided is crucial information necessary for many of us to make an informed decision on how this protest is proceeding and whether this is the correct way to go. In short, people are questioning their tactics and whether they are doing things as honestly as we had hoped for.

I agree with David. We should use this opportunity to create more positive dialogue and better opportunitistic negotiations for more constructive social changes while the front door is still open to deal with the Gallaudet administration now, in 2007 and beyond. Shooting ourselves into our foot over and over isn't productive. Nor smart.

Let's look at Aikido that I've practiced since 1997 which is a Japanese martial art on the use of non-resistance methods for self defense that uses circular movements and not linear as a self defense martial art with no punching, blocking, or kicking involved. This may sound like a passive self-defense martial art but it is much more involved and extremely complex than anyone can imagine. The techniques of Aikido is counter-intuitive when it comes to self-defense. The techniques of Aikido use relaxed but not weak movements. If somebody comes to you and grabs you by the shoulder, arm or wrist, your reaction may be to pull away from that source of danger. This is a natural reaction. You tense up. There is an instant feedback on the tension felt. Everybody feels it even if you have two or three on you. You feel it yourself, too. The person would want to move and pull away because their personal safety zone has been violated. The reciprocal reaction may be to incur a blow to the attacker(s) or allow yourself to go under complete submission. It is this classic “fight or flight” syndrome many of us are familiar with. Instead of tensing up, you relax in your movements. The best way to explain Aikido is that it's like water. You can't feel the tension of water. There is no feedback if you try and grab water. When you attack water, it becomes subtle and unassuming and you get sucked in before you even realized what had happened.

The concept of Aikido is a way to help resolve conflict on whether to use a fight or flight tactic by using conflict as a source of power for self defense. Or in this case a source of empowerment. Recognizing conflicts can help empower a person because people in general have their own set ways or perspectives that do not allow room for change. So, the butting of heads continues to prevail in a conflict situation. Even I am still learning this valuable concept of Aikido, even after 9 years. It's not an easy thing to learn. Or unlearn in this case. You simply learn to center yourself on a daily basis and that's not an easy thing to do.

Now, if someone attacks you physically but knowing Aikido you have the power to use that attack against the attacker in such a way that you can protect you and the attacker at the same time. You have the ability to blend in with the attacker’s deadly movements with greatest of ease while totally relaxed. You end up protecting yourself and even the attacker, too, without trying to put him into a hospital. That's the highest ethical defense one can do. It's easy to hurt somebody in self defense but it's much more harder to try and protect the attacker while protecting yourself. Or at least you try. Nobody's perfect. That's the key.

Once you learn what Aikido is about you begin to have a fresh new perspective on self defense. You begin to learn that conflict is an opportunistic time to learn the art of blending and conflict resolution. When conflict is seen as an opportunity only then will you realize that your priorities have changed for the better.