Deaf Rumor Mill and Cyber Gossip

Over the last few days, weeks and even the last 3 years I, as well as many others, have seen the affects of how rumors and gossips can do to a Deaf community or any community for that matter when it comes to blogging and what not. Now, gossiping isn’t my bag, obviously so for those who are already familiar with my blogsite. I go for substance and style over gossiping any day of the week when I do my blogging. Yet, curiously so, gossiping seems to be a mainstay diet for many who relish gossipy news over substance, especially in the Deaf community which happens to pride itself on being a highly sociable group. Nothing to be ashamed there, of course. But I was curious why people do these things publicly over the internet and so I did a quick Google research.

First, we need to define what the definition of “gossip” is which isn’t an easy one to define according to psychologists. Okay. We kind of know what it means anyway. But from a social status standpoint what does it mean then?

Gossip also defines who's in and who's out in a group. If you're considered worthy enough to be buzzed about on the grapevine, you're in.

Ah, interesting. It's about the importance of a person they're gossiping about. Ok. What about bad gossips? Any difference from kids gossiping when compared to adults who do them?

But kids' gossip is decidedly different from adults'; it's more innocent and often more cruel. First, children will gossip in front of the kid they're talking about, using such common bon mots as: "You pick your nose" or "You're a cheater."

Hmm. I don’t see much difference from what I’ve been hearing and reading all these years. Maybe some people just don’t know how to gossip like an adult with the right kind of words? The question is why do adults gossip?

Second, unlike adults, who often gossip to bring someone with power down a notch or two…

So, gossiping is about trying to bring down people with power a notch or two? Perhaps some people are desperate then? And this is about being malicious and mean, too?

….research suggests that many healthy children—and perhaps some adults—dabble in malicious gossip, and that it can be an effective way to be aggressive without facing social sanctions.

"What is so interesting about gossip is that it really walks the line between what is acceptable and what is not," says Underwood. "It is completely unacceptable for me to punch my colleague, but if I tell people he drinks too much, I am less likely to be called on it."

Yeah. No kidding. Continue.

In addition to serving as a proxy for punching, malicious gossip can improve one's social standing at the expense of others' status, according to research by Antonius Cillessen, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Connecticut. Cillessen followed 905 children from the ages of 10 to 14, asking them each year to rank each other in terms of likability, popularity and social aggression. The children who others rated as socially aggressive—those who, for example, spread gossip about peers or intentionally excluded others from games—became more popular, according to a study published in a 2004 issue of Child Development (Vol. 75, No. 1, pages 147–163).

Interesting. Yet psychologists are talking about kids. But then again this probably makes no difference when some adults do it. But there’s more.

Gossip may enhance children's social standing because, by talking about someone who is not present, the gossipers form a social alliance, notes Underwood. If that talk is negative, the subject of the gossip is explicitly excluded from the new alliance, she notes. For example, a group of boys who talk about someone who recently acted like a "crybaby" establishes that theirs is a non-crybaby group.

Children who strategically exclude others in this manner may be able to gossip their way to the top of the social ladder, Cillessen says. Adults may also use such strategies from time-to-time too, though they are likely to do so in more subtle ways, and have multiple aims with a single instance of gossip, he says.

Crybaby and non-crybaby groups?? I guess psychologists haven’t studied what goes on in some of these Deaf circles when it comes to gossiping and rumor-mongering. But there’s an interesting conclusion to all this.

While malicious gossip may be an effective way to enhance one's social standing—with little chance that others will disagree with you publicly—those who do may pay a hidden price, Cillessen has found.

In Cillessen's 2004 study, he found that popular fifth-graders tended to also be well liked by their peers, but by ninth grade, the two factors were negatively correlated. The increasing disparity may come from their need to gossip to stay atop the social heap, his findings suggest.

"What we see is...girls who are using relational aggression to be powerful in their peer group are seen as central and cool, but they are increasingly disliked by others," says Cillessen.

Speaking ill of others to become popular—and then having to do it more to stay popular—leads to an escalation of malicious gossip, suggests Cillessen's study. However, relational aggression as a method to socially climb seems to level at ninth grade, and it begins to decline around 10th, suggests as-yet-unpublished data by Cillessen.

Yeah, I know. They're talking about kids but how can you tell nowadays when it seems to be the case in "certain circles" around here. But I figured that when people gossip so much out in the open over the internet it actually exposes them a bit more. Which is to say that if people insist on gossiping maliciously then they must be worried about something or else it wouldn’t be worth gossiping to begin with! Maybe they are indeed exposing themselves a little too much about themselves for other people to see and not know it?

"Gossip is similar to a Rorschach test," says Levin. "If you look at the nature of someone's gossip, you can find out what concerns them."

Ah, interesting! "What concerns them." Hmm… Ah hummm….

*nods head*

*rubs jaw*

Sigmund Freud would be quite interested in this new age of gossiping over the internet via blogging. But this shouldn't be a surprise since we all gossip to one degree or another whether it's done digitally or in person. However, there is a difference between unhealthy gossip and the run-of-the-mill gossip kind.

And so it comes down to this the one big reason to stay out of this malicious gossip and rumoring nonsense that, at times, seems to plague the Deaf community.

"I think gossip brings about more gossip, and things can grow out of control and really hurt someone," Fort says. "If gossip were alcohol, my whole school would be wasted."

No kidding! Apply that by ten times when we're dealing with a tight, knitted Deaf community. It can simply get vicious and out of control at times. Either you want to be a responsible blogger or you don't and not get too far out ahead of yourselves. I have a good reason why I don't blog that way and I have no desire to do so. I'd rather blog that has substance and class. Not to mention a healthy dose of humor to help wash it all down every so often.

Cheers everyone! Ta -ta!