F*ck you, Deaf Community!

Here's an interesting thread that has the title "**** you, Deaf 'Community' " from a hearing father about her four year old deaf daughter. This is an opportunity to read the viewpoints of mostly hearing people on their perceptions and understanding about the Deaf community and its culture, Gallaudet University, schoolings, ASL, sign language, oral/aural approaches, cochlear implant, and education when it comes to deaf and hard of hearing children and their parents. Granted, the views presented in that thread may not be representative of the hearing group as a whole but it certainly does give us some additional insights on their views of the whole Deafness thing in a more or less honest fashion.

Having said that, this is something to think about when it comes to communication choices in light of the upcoming California AB 2072 bill. Candy has a good bead on this as well. The AB 20727 bill states that:

Parents of all newborns and infants diagnosed with a hearing loss shall also be provided written or electronic information on American Sign Language (ASL), Total Communication, Cued Speech, and Listening and Spoken Language communication options for children with hearing loss, including, but not limited to, information about deaf and hard-of-hearing organizations, agencies and early intervention centers, and educational programs.

No conspiracy theory.

No mystery to this bill.

Just a straight up requirement that parents be given information for a wide selection of communication and educational choices be made available to them after the discovery of their newborn or infant with a hearing loss.

The irony is this. There are certain groups of Deaf people who seem to be undergoing an effort to derail this bill. And instead promote that ASL must be the first option for any parents of a deaf or hard of hearing child. Thusly leaving out any real choices for parents to decide. Nevermind the fact that this bill would make a requirement that these parents be given the necessary information so they could make a proper and informed decision on communication and educational options. An option that could involve one communication method or more.

Back to the "F*ck you" thread. This father explained in her first post on what he and his wife had to do based on information available at the time to help her deaf daughter.

We gave our daughter cochlear implants when she was an infant. We made this long and difficult decision based on the research that was available to us, based on the educational resources available in our area, based on the nature of her deafness, and, yes, based on our own biases and desires. She had her surgeries before she was old enough to make the choice for herself, because to wait so long means to give her hearing long after her developing brain can make the best use of it. It is a well-known and long-researched phenomenon that pre-lingual implantation leads to vastly improved speech and hearing skills. But you call it child abuse. You call it cosmetic surgery on an infant, and more than once you called me a monster for it. It is not child abuse, to make complicated decisions about your kids without their input - it's called parenting. Nor is it cosmetic to give my kid a developmental boost. So: f*ck you for heaping accusations of pre-lingual cosmetic surgery child abuse on me.

Our family is learning ASL, and have been since we learned our daughter was profoundly deaf. We will use sign as a second language, indefinitely. My wife is in school to become an interpreter. Nor do we believe in a purely oralist tradition; we acknowledge the importance of communication between deaf people without assistance. We get it, ok? We're committed. But because we gave our daughter cochlear implants, you automatically believe that we're out to destroy ASL, to destroy Deaf culture. You never listen to our reasoning, because what do we know? We're motivated by a desire to mingle in both worlds, and yet we're constantly scoffed at by the Deafies on principle. So: f*** you for your pernicious false dichotomies.

This AB 2072 bill will help alleviate the uncertainty for parents of a deaf/hh child in making an informed decision for the first time. But for groups to purposely derail this bill for the sake of demanding that ASL be given first priority and requirement for parents to follow are certainly not about parental choice but about control. Doing that could very well certainly earn the Deaf community many more "f**** you's" from hearing parents of deaf and hard of hearing children.

Give the parents the opportunity to make an informed decision for their deaf/hh child. Give them the respect and understanding they deserve. And understand that whatever informed decision they make, they still deserve our respect and support. It doesn't matter if you don't like their informed decision, they deserve our respect. Walking all over them and taking away their choices aren't the answer.