Malignment Attitudes within the Deaf Community

After all these years reading other people's blogs and watching their vlogs some of their incompetence were realized early on up to the present in terms of their attitudes of malignment. In short, using the internet as way to spread gossip, hate and revilement against certain individuals on a regular basis.  It's one thing to argue respectfully and make a point of contention without getting emotionally involved but another to specifically target individuals as their personal punching bag using ad hominem and continuing with their online bullying ways. I'm sorry. I don't respect people doing that in the latter. The rule of thumb is that once people use ad hominem they have lost their argument.

Crab Theory on a Pedestal

You know, after all these years I've seen it happen again and again and again in the cultural deaf community. For some reason or another you get a group of people who would target certain deaf individuals because he or she has gained a bit of recognizance for his or her successful efforts. That negative exercise is called "Crab Theory."

The definition of "Crab Theory" is described in a report called “Review of Deaf Mental Health Services in British Columbia” by Linda D. Hill, Ph.D.and Patricia Nelson, MA.

The tendency of members of an oppressed group to use criticism, pressure, gossip, and in-fighting against group members who appear to be too successful or who appear to be becoming too much like the members of the dominant group.(pg 41).

A better definition seen in Wikipedia is more accurate on what has been happening lately:

The analogy in human behavior is that members of a group will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy,[4] conspiracy or competitive feelings.

The funny thing is that whenever one is accused of "Crab Theory" the person will provide the usual response proclaiming it's really about a person's "character" as a justification to heap scorn, hate, half truths and lies instead of applauding and supporting a deaf person's hard work in his or her rise to success. Often they'll tell stories of year's past as anecdotal evidences without any shred of proof  with the intention of targeting the successful individual to fail in his or her quest. That's the number one motive and that is to get the person to fail.  Other methods would be to use a series of negative comments in quotes that was supposedly said by the so-called "guilty person" as if they're solid proof that he or she actually said those things. Of course, all without offering any links to the actual source of those comments. Their motive is to drag the rising star down at all cost. Sometimes you have people who pretend to be neutral about the whole thing yet continues to heap negative comments. Those are examples of Crab Theory.

Why Crab Theory? Had the person not been successful in his or her efforts while gaining more name recognition in the public, better fund raising efforts or more public support then this whole effort to discredit the successful person would not have happened in the first place. That tells you one thing and that's they are practicing Crab Theory by putting out stories and unfounded and unsupported damaging claims against the successful deaf person without any shred of proof.  No links to sources or videos that would have captured what he or she has said or done.  Just stories. As far as I'm concerned they're fictional stories. Just because somebody shared that story does not make it true. Petty stories make for a petty person.

It's funny how some people in the deaf community behave like that. Here you have an opportunity for the deaf community to help a deaf person become successful by recognizing his or her hard work and successes while climbing the ladder to his or her goal.  People do have the right to not support a person. However, there's a difference between saying that you do not want to support the person versus writing a 4 or 5 page public rant on a website of something that happened 10 or 15 years ago what the person supposedly said or done with an obvious goal to make sure the person would fail. Doing so makes the Crab Theory practitioner look petty and little.

Which ones are living in the past and have grudges or hate vs people looking to the future in the hope that this deaf person will succeed while supporting him or her in such a positive manner that would benefit the deaf community once the person reaches his or her goal?

Crab Theory. That need to stop. People need to stop acting childish by focusing so much on the past of unfounded accusations with no shred of proof. People over time do change into something better. Past is past. No one is perfect. Unless you are perfect in life in everyway then I suppose you would have the right to judge people. But you're not perfect. Might as well step down from that soap box of hate.  Now is the time to focus on the present for a better future.

Double Dog Dare You!

It is just fascinating to hear comments every now and then through the grapevines that gets filtered down to me in my emails about the few Deaf people who continually dismiss me as someone who is supposedly angry at the Deaf community for "not accepting me." Or that I'm "lonely" which is funny because whenever I opine strongly or present facts on certain deaf-related issues in my blogs (or vlogs) do they resort to this sort of low ball approach of attacking instead of making cogent arguments. Whenever a loss for words they go for the guns and call me an "extremist" something ..something.. whatever. It's like them playing the race card over and over and over because that is  their only response they have left in the cards thinking it's a cogent argument.

Deaf community does not accept me?

How droll and laughable that argument has become lately.

Why? Well, looking back it's funny because the term "Deaf community" has always meant the culturally deaf community. That has always been the defined framework for years in the attempt to instill that message so far ingrained it can only mean "culturally deaf people" (Padden, Carol; Tom Humphries (1988). Deaf in America: Voices from a Culture) and nothing else.

Nowadays you have some Deaf people trying to move the goal post in their desperate bid to concoct a new meaning of the term "D"eaf as to also include people with all kinds of hearing loss whether they are hearing aid users, cochlear implant users, oral deaf, SEE users, cued speech users, late deafened (and not "latened" deaf, folks!), implantable hearing aid users, and anybody with mild to profound hearing loss. In other words, their newly made up term "D"eaf people would apply to the 36 million people with hearing loss in the United States. Using the argument that I am "angry" because the "Deaf community" hasn't accepted me becomes even sillier worthy of a joke or two. It simply becomes a losing argument! Wait til I show this to my Deaf, deaf, hh and hearing Facebook friends and fans of my blog and ask them why they have not "accepted me" for who I am.

Note the sarcasm.

Let's suppose they keep the original intended meaning of the term "D"eaf that Deaf people have
worked so hard to define over the last 25 years (see Padden, Carol; Tom Humphries (1988). Deaf in America: Voices from a Culture) to mean "culturally deaf people" and apply that term in "Deaf community" with all of its intended meaning.

We use the lowercase deaf when referring to the audiological condition of not hearing, and the uppercase Deaf when referring to a particular group of deaf people who share a language – American Sign Language (ASL) – and a culture.  The members of this group have inherited their sign language, use it as a primary means of communication among themselves, and hold a set of beliefs about themselves and their connection to the larger society.  We distinguish them from, for example, those who find themselves losing their hearing because of illness, trauma or age; although these people share the condition of not hearing, they do not have access to the knowledge, beliefs, and practices that make up the culture of Deaf people.

 Fine. Except that using the same argument that I am "angry at the Deaf community" for not
"accepting me" fails miserably as well because it would indicate a "members only" mentality based on sign language and culture. I have many Deaf friends (old and new ones, even the ones from NTID) that I keep track of in my Facebook and Deaf people I don't know well enough who simply accept and support me for who I am. They are part of the Deaf community. In other words, I see no evidence of their rejection of me.  In all actuality, the whole rejection notion comes from the very few Deaf people who simply have a beef with me and don't like me. Pretty straight forward and obvious. Heck, even Tayler Mayer doesn't reject me and that's a whole lotta Deaf community behind him with his DeafRead and DVTV communities which continues to grow and thrive despite the failed walkout.

Bottom line, we simply accept each other for who we are. I feel no rejection from the "Deaf community" as a whole, folks. Sorry to disappoint the few "unfans."

If that's not the "Deaf community" context in mind then perhaps it's using the "Gallaudet University as the Deaf community" argument since I did go there from 1988 to 1991 in only 3 1/2 short years graduating with a bachelor degree in mathematics. Even using that argument fails on so many levels because a good portion of my Deaf friends were the ones I met while at Gallaudet University. Heck, I even got kudos from Deaf people sitting in the audience (and on the panel) after I did my verbal speech presentation at the first ever blog/vlog (see video of my presentation at 1:25 to 1:42 with an ASL interpreter) conference at Gallaudet University, including comments in my blog offering praise and kudos from the very people in the Deaf community.  It was an honor that Jill Bradbury at Gallaudet University selected me along with several other bloggers/vloggers to attend the conference. She left an astute comment in my blog about diversity.

Mike - I thought it took a lot of confidence to stand up and speak during your panel. By doing so, you helped the conference make a strong statement about embracing diversity in the deaf community. Waving hands! At dinner someone said to me that you are supporting the deaf community in a really valuable way through your interest in technology. Thanks for keeping us informed! Jill.Bradbury | 02.04.07 - 1:28 pm |

It's all about embracing diversity. I accept people with hearing loss regardless of their background, regardless of whether they know sign language or not. The same goes on their acceptance of me for who I am regardless of my communication preferences or background. I just go about a different way of interacting with people of various backgrounds and communication preferences. Something that few seem to not understand.

It's one thing to disagree with a person's opinion but an entirely another realm of fantasy to use a piss poor claim of my being "angry" because the Deaf community "rejected" me as a substitute argument.  Having several Deaf people who don't like me or reject me do not make a "Deaf community."

Gawrsh! *kicks a pebble*

This whole blog piece was precipitated when I looked back on some old comments that were a few years old on somebody else's blog. A few Deaf people actually  "double dog" or "triple dog" dared me to sign in my own video believing I couldn't sign and I was simply a helpless ol "orally." And, of course, the rest was history once I did that. But then they complained even more because of my opinionated signed vlogs both in the signed and spoken format (along with my own subtitles).  Got to laugh at the irony when it comes to diversity and accessibility. How about if I do a "double dog" dare to those same people and ask them to add subtitles in their own signed vlogs? No, make that a triple dog dare! I bet dollars to donuts they won't.

Opinions vs Hate

Fans and followers of my blog, simply put, there are those who make the opinions and then there are those who try and shut them up rather than to agree to disagree. There are some people who cannot tell the difference between hating a blogging (i.e. acting jealously towards someone) and opinion (have not personal feelings towards the person but commenting on the subject matter). Why, when challenged of their sensibilities by those who dare to ask the hard questions, do many get angry and nasty instead of offering alternative arguments? If you look at some of JJ Puorro's responses you can tell he does a good job of simply disagreeing and stating his arguments rather than resort to the petty tactics of attacking a blogger for attack sake like so many are inclined to do. But once a fling or name calling is done in an otherwise good argument whether responding in a comment box or writing in a blog does the argument quickly become worthless. The argument loses out. It immediately becomes clear the focus is really about a vendetta-like mission whose obsessiveness becomes apparent through a series of veiled and not so veiled personal attacks in the effort to shut some people up.

Not a very smart thing to do.

In the world of blogging, it is impossible to please anyone. This is increasingly apparent in the Deaf blogosphere. Even if you become the nicest person in the world and say all the kind kudos and warm praises will you still find people who will take the time and effort to show their disdain and hate towards you. Simply because they don't like what they're hearing or seeing. And they'll use those reasons as a justification to hate you as a blogger and make their mission to target you specifically based on hate instead of simply agreeing to disagree.

For me as a hh/deaf blogger, I don't need to worry about other people's feelings towards me. People will either like what I have written or they don't. No point in worrying, afraid of stepping on somebody's toes. I'd rather remain true to myself in expressing on what I want to say and not be afraid to ask the hard questions however unpopular it may be. Not everything is a bed of roses. But I will continue to write as I wish as a hh/deaf blogger. I still have lots to contribute in the coming days, months and even years. No one is being forced to read my blogs. Yet some readers keep coming back and bray even more which begs the question. Why keep returning if you know this blog may upset you? Why continue with the petty act and charade? Why act like 7 year old kids thinking you own the playground and if you don't have it your way you then proceed to a DEFCON 4 temper tantrum by throwing yourself on the ground writhing like a slug covered with salt? And I'm the adult watching the kiddies and this farce outside of the playground.

Opinions vs Hate.

Which one are you? Attack the argument or attack the person?

Kokonut Pundit's ASL video message to deaf community

Here it is folks. My signed message to the deaf and hard of hearing community. Something to help dispel some myths, misconceptions and misunderstandings. Basically it's time to start with my signing and video-taping. I've been thinking about this for a few months now and I suppose there is no better time than now to bring out this video for you fans (and not so friendly fans) of Kokonut Pundit. I plan to do a 2nd video later on tonight since this first video I didn't have time to finish the rest of what I wanted to say and still have some thoughts left over. At any rate, here's my first video to help squelch some rumors and more.

Mike Sign Message to Deaf Community Part 1

Famous deaf person loses 82 lbs with successful portion control program

Rush Limbaugh, who is deaf by the way, is continuing with his successful weight loss program which stands at 82lbs after hearing it on the radio recetly Friday a few days ago (link will expire in a few days).

....my weight loss, which is now 82 pounds. I started on March 9th. This is August 14th. My weight loss is now 82 pounds...

That'd be losing on average 1/2 lb of bodyweight a day. Not bad. Quite safe. And he follows highly nutritious meals prepared for him at 1500 calories a day under a "Quick Weight Loss" program. He looks much better in his ditto-cam nowadays and not so much looking overly rotund.

Here's a dinner description that Rush highlighted on Friday:

Last night when dinner was placed before me, I said, "This can't be right. There's too much here." The plate was filled with seven ounces of chicken, chicken breast cut in half, and on the top of it was a casserole type of broccoli, a little rice, some cottage cheese in there, and a thickening agent, I don't even know what it was, and a cup of asparagus that looked like the whole package from the grocery store. And then there was the frozen strawberry daiquiri protein shake, which is, by the time you drink it, about 20 ounces. I looked at that and said, "This can't be." I almost called Kathryn, said, "Kathryn, this is not right, this is too much food." I've thought that I can't tell you how many times that I've sat down to eat on this diet. It's amazing. The people who have not done it and the people who don't know what it is are telling you more about how it can't work and doesn't work than the guy who has done it! The arrogance of these people is just amazing.

Arrogance? How about prejudiced, too, simply because he's a conservative Republican? Unreal. And there were articles after articles demonizing Limbaugh for losing 1/2lb a day or 15lbs a month but spun it as if he was losing weight dangerously to imply, unrealistically, that Rush is in danger of doing that. Unreal. And they call themselves "doctors."

I went over to Alldeaf to start a topic to congratulate Rush Limbaugh on his weight loss success with kudos. The only thing I got was veiled demonizations from commenters against Rush rather than to give him any kudos. That tells alot of how they make this into a political reason not to praise and give kudos to Rush. In short, this was about politics when it shouldn't have been about politics but about acknowledging and giving well deserved kudos. Kind of funny when commenters attempt to bob and weave with their responses to make sure they don't give any semblance of kudos to Rush Limbaugh. Funny, but sad at the same time, too. It's people like Rush Limbaugh who inspire others to lose weight and that alone speaks volume. Avoiding kudos also speaks volume, doubly so.

Rush didn't take stimulants (ie. diet pills). No drugs. Instead he has a planned eating program designed to learn how to portion your food intake while having a great and nutritious meal. And because of that, Rush was able to lose 82 lbs so far and inspired others to continue with their own weight loss program.

CALLER: I'm calling because I've had similar success on a weight loss program very similar to your program.

RUSH: Not possible.

CALLER: (chuckling)

RUSH: The weight I've lost I haven't lost, according to the experts.

CALLER: I know. I heard that. I started out at 319; I lost 90 pounds.

RUSH: In what period of time?

CALLER: It took about a year.

RUSH: It took about a year.

CALLER: Uh-huh. And I looked online at the program you were using and I realized that the products were very similar to the ones I used. The protein supplements and things were very similar.

RUSH: Well, congratulations, that's great, 90 pounds, that's significant. I'm at 82 since March the 9th. But, you know, men lose weight faster --

CALLER: Exactly.

RUSH: -- than women do. They just do.

CALLER: And I had kind of slacked off and wasn't being as diligent and then when I saw what you were doing I got back on it and I lost five pounds the first week.

RUSH: Well, way to go! I'm happy to provide inspiration in yet another way.

CALLER: Thank you.

RUSH: You had a question. It says up here, "Do you still eat...?" What? What were you going to ask me?

CALLER: Oh, the screener was asking me if I go hungry, and I told him no. I don't go hungry at all. The food is very nutritious. It really teaches you the proper portions and you don't go hungry at all.

RUSH: I actually don't look at this as a diet anymore. I look at it -- you can call it portion control or whatever. It's just how to eat sensibly.

CALLER: Mmm-hmm.

RUSH: I'll tell you a little something. We've had a blast out here this week and I've been going to dinner every night, and one night this week -- it's not because I overate or anything, but one night this week -- at the end of the night I felt like I used to feel when I weighed 290 after eating dinner.

CALLER: Mmm-hmm.

RUSH: And I said, "I am never going through this again. This is never going to happen." It just took that one time.

CALLER: Mmm-hmm.

RUSH: Really, I don't know what happened. I think it was just a combination. That was the night I pulled the all-nighter and so forth. But I'll tell you, this is the first diet -- quote, unquote, "diet" -- that I been on that I don't want to get off of.

CALLER: Well, I'm still on it.

RUSH: Other diets when I finally got to the goal I said, "All riiiiiiiight!"

CALLER: Exactly. That's what I did and then I started putting it back on.

RUSH: Yeah, well, that will happen. Yeah.

CALLER: I'm not going to do that.

RUSH: Well, congratulations, June. That's just great. I'm very proud of you.

CALLER: People can do it.

RUSH: People don't know how hard this is. They don't know how to stick with something and lose 90 pounds.

CALLER: It is hard but people can do it.

RUSH: Of course! Of course people can do it. People do it all the time but the experts say I haven't done it.

CALLER: I know. I heard that. (chuckling)

RUSH: It's just amazing. June, thanks for the call.

CALLER: Thank you. Bye.

RUSH: I appreciate it.

So, instead of using politics as an excuse to avoid kudos to anybody who loses weight in sound and sensible manner who took the time and planned effort deserves kudos no matter what their background in politics. People will try all kinds of justification to avoid any semblance of a kudos and will come up with their own lame, lame way to avoid it.

Sad to see that happen. So, congrats to Rush Limbaugh on his successful weight loss! The most famous radio personality in the United States who happens to be deaf and wears a cochlear implant.