Crapping on other people is not a right

In the deaf community, like in many others, if you spend enough time you get to see who's who in the deaf community and what their beefs are. Many deaf people have the ability to provide positive examples of themselves when it comes to positive use of sign language and spread the "gospel" the good things about sign language and by convention provide a positive image for those in the deaf community. While others feel the need to use politics or pissy attitudes to attack people who are not familiar with sign language or against those who have different opinions on communication options and sign language. The best promotion to spread the idea of sign language or that deaf people are simply a bunch of good people is to be a positive force about it even in the face of others who might disagree or have a difference of opinion.  

For some culturally deaf people who like to constantly attack hearing people, belittle them, and just be plain rude will only add to the image problem of culturally deaf people as a bunch of angry, uneducated, ungrateful, rude, anal retentive people who have nothing better than to complain and whine incessantly like a little child. Freud would be so happy to have them for his couch.  I don't believe one bit that these are the "intrinsic attitudes" and "behavioral norms" for culturally deaf people. You just have a few bad apples, rotten to the core and filled with writhing worms. There's a time to speak up but certainly not in the manner to attack every living hearing or deaf/hh people for that matter who think differently or have different set of opinions.  And yet, of course, there's a bit of cultural norm when it comes to being direct that are a part of deaf culture.  Being direct isn't a cart-blanche right  to be downright rude or hostile at hearing people just because you're deaf.

I worked at a bowling alley as a bartender. During the “league season” we have on average a couple hundred regulars coming through in just a few hours and a lot of them like to drink. Bartending for bowlers is a chore in itself, but every customer set is different and that’s the job. 

However, there was also a large party booked that day of around 100 deaf people. I was still the only bartender working at the time. My bar had access from 2 sides to it, one from the lanes and one from the bar area. We had slips of paper and pencils out for the deaf party so they could better communicate their orders. I understand that being deaf is a handicap, but I don’t understand sign language and you can’t understand me, so let’s use the paper and help each other out. Screaming “tah key one eye!” (obviously a Tequila Sunrise) at me over and over again when I offer you a slip of paper because I can’t understand you doesn’t resolve the issue. And when I turn to help the line of league bowlers, who are in there drinking every week for the next 6 months, don’t slam the glasses on the bar to get my attention. I am CLEARLY busy serving people who have been patiently waiting. Don’t throw the paper at me that we set out for you to write orders on to get my attention. Don’t scream at the top of your lungs because you think I can’t hear you. I have acknowledged you, politely held up my hand to ask for a minute while I serve someone else. I even asked some partial deaf people to teach me some basic signs so I could try to communicate better. Don’t use your handicap as an excuse to be rude.

Versus a situation when a bartender gets a $10 tip from a deaf person.

I’ve waited on a few deaf people in my life and never really had a problem. I used to have this one “regular” who was really cool and tipped well. He would write his order down on a piece of stationary then hand it to me. On the top of the stationary, it explained that he was deaf and mute. He would tip a solid $10.00 every time. 

People will certainly draw the line if people use their existing condition as an excuse to crap on everybody and think they have some kind of entitlement because of their lack of sense.

Ok. That was a double entendre, so sue me.

Dissing those who Choose

Jamie Berke has undertaken a major decision in her life and is now chronicling her story in the blog section of About.com:Deafness beginning with her first blog “Starting a New Phase of Life” that began one week ago. Of course, I believe many deaf and hard of hearing people are in support of her decision to have her cochlear implant done since she is, after all, an adult. She is capable of making her own decision. Apparently, there are the very few “sour-minds” out there who actually think what Jamie did amount to a traitorous action against those who are culturally deaf (or in this case the “Deaf community”) as seen in comment # 15.

You are definitely a real TRAITOR to the deaf community especially your deaf blog! I was totally RIGHT about you being a turncoat to the deaf community. Why in the world you get the CI? What for? Comment by *Gasp For Air* — February 20, 2008 @ 11:52 am.

Morons who behave like anonymous cowards they are by going after deaf and hard of hearing people by calling them “traitors” or “turncoats” are not representative of the deaf and hard of hearing community, much less the Deaf community (at least I hope not). Or make snarky remarks on what Jamie Berke is doing is helping “stimulate the economy and make money for a few companies/individuals” - which shows an obvious lack of support by those who think otherwise about cochlear implantation by deaf adults who choose to have them. Remarks like those simply paint an even darker picture about the Deaf community to be seen by the public as “unyielding,” “unsupportive,” “maligning,” “one dimensional in thinking,” or even “abusive.” It certainly doesn’t help the Deaf community whenever people go around screaming “ AGBAD! AGBAD! AGBAD! " instead of coming back down to earth a bit and address “AG Bell” as, what else, “AG Bell.” But it's sometimes even worse when the few use "AGBAD" disengeniously as an "innocent" use of the acronym (several times over) in a letter addressed to AG Bell (of which I have a copy of) in a disparaging manner hoping for a courteous reply from them in return. Ya think?

Blogs and vlogs have their pros and cons when it comes to informing the public but by being visible to them these bloggers/vloggers have certain responsibilities when it comes to representing their deaf and hard of hearing community. Or in this case, the Deaf community. Acting like a bunch of juveniles do not help the cause.

But sometimes these “sourpuss” mind types go a bit farther and claim that all deaf children or babies belong to them, that is, the Deaf community by terming these deaf babies as "our" deaf children. The fact is, deaf babies belong to no one community except to the parents of that deaf child. Aside from that, blatherings continue elsewhere about the true “evilness” of cochlear implants and so on. Quite disconcerting to see these things happen. Imagine the public who have no idea what the Deaf community is like and see these kinds of things for the first time and they have a deaf child. Do you think hearing parents would want their deaf child to be sucked into that kind of a group who think and act like that? I wouldn't. So, don't act so surprised.

Granted, these kinds of people who act or behave like that are in the extreme minority among those in the Deaf community, at least I hoping that is the case here. But you know what? Deaf and hard of hearing people can do anything, even hear. It's time to get rid of that old cliche' by I. King Jordan's famous quote, "Deaf people can do anything, except hear." Whether it is a hearing aid or a cochlear implant the gift of sound is not to be taken for granted. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to experience the beauty of sound and many people do not realize just how powerful sounds are to those who enjoy them. Like me and many others.

And so I end this blog piece that whenever people who act like a "sourpuss" or those who insist on having a "sour-like mind" enough for you to wince and pucker up seeing them behave like juveniles certainly deserve my "Sour Puss Stamp" of the day.



Jamie, don't worry about these "sour-mind" types of people. You are an adult. You made the decision and that Deaf people have no right to tell you how you should think and behave.