Adult Cyberbullying

Believe or not the term cyberbullying is just not for kiddies but even among adults who behave exactly what kids would do online, plus some more. You can have an adult bully or a child bully. Being bully knows no age-limit. And if an adult can be a bully, so can one be an adult cyberbully as well.

Cyberbullying does not just apply to children. There are adult groups dedicated to harassing and defaming others as well, along with websites created online specifically to make fun of and demean individuals. These people can be found in communities linked to blogs and chat rooms and they use the disguise of “anonymity” to harass their prey. 

Definition: "Cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging (IM), defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others." – Bill Belsey, Cyberbullying Expert  

Common Variations:  Cyber Bullying; Cyberbullying; Cyber-Bullying; Cyberstalking; and Cybermobbing.
 

There is a new non-profit organization against adult cyberbullyg called Civil Nation whose aim is to take

"....a stand against online hostility and adult cyberbullying. Its focus is on advancing the full capability of individuals to communicate and engage in cyberspace in a responsible and accountable way. A strong supporter of the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, CiviliNation believes that free speech is enhanced through civil dialog and a rational exchange of information and ideas. By fostering an online culture in which individuals can fully engage and contribute without fear or threat of being the target of unwarranted abuse, harassment, or lies, the core ideals of democracy are upheld."

In the deaf culture world they, too, also have their share of adult cyberbullies who consistently and constantly go on the prowl to find deaf individuals (not public figures but private) and concoct justifications or excuses to make sustained and continued attacks on a regular or semi-regular basis in the effort to defame, make fun of, make hostile remarks, harass, demean, use online threats of exposing identities, call names and/or participate in online activities with one or more people in the effort to get individuals fired or in trouble at work over a matter of disagreements of opinions.  An example of that actually happened during the AB2072 protest (read the comments) . Sometimes you have certain people who like to lay low and get other cyberbullies to do their bidding by directing them or make suggestion about certain individuals because of their dislike or strong disagreement with their opinions or stances.

Cyberbullies come in all forms and shape, and age, too. "Cyberbullying" is not a word reserved only for kids but for adults, too, who behave just like what kids would do. And that is being a cyberbully.

Posting rules....and not just for deaf people only.

I've added a painting of Uncle Sam seen on the upper left side of my blog where it is linked to my 2010 blog piece on rules for posting comments in my blog. A very simple guideline that anyone can understand and follow it, even a caveman can do that.  I'm making this blog to clarify the one thing that a few deaf/hh people have brought up recently thinking that if they leave their name behind and I know who that person is they fear that I will delete their comment while still in moderation mode.

So far that has never happened. Go figure.

The rules I've posted back in 2010 are quite explicit and it doesn't matter if a person post his or her comments anonymously or post comments using their name identifiable to the public. To use the excuse that "I don't want to post my name because you will delete my comment because you don't like me" is a pathetic one if not a cowardly excuse. Bottom line, it doesn't matter if you want to post your comments anonymously or attach it with your name. My posting rules are to be followed. That is where I draw the line on whether a posted comment gets accepted.  Extremely few comments do not get published compared to the thousands that do get through. I am a lot more lax than you think when it comes to moderating comments. But, please, please, do not use the lame excuse that just because you think I don't like you and that once you put your name out and I know who you are thinking that I will delete your comment as a result. Hardly. If you follow my posting rules, you're on safe grounds. Abuse your privilege here then expect your comments not to show up. Quite simple, really. Honest injun!

Deeeeeeeeeestruction!

10...
9....
8....
7....
6....
5....
4....
3....
2....
1....

*click*

*no noise*

Whaaa?

What's wrong?

A dud?

Bad wiring?

Nah.

Just a lot of grumbling from a bunch of people instead. And no destruction but rather about destructive behaviors through making assumptions, myth makings, by making things personal by contacting employers, making threats, doing the whole childish gossipy games in YouTube, being hypocritical, the name callings, doing the whole "subaltern" pseduo crap talk, getting heavy with the a-wordism and deficit thinkers on other deaf/hh people and so on and so forth, etc, etc and all that over the years on what I've witnessed on some occasions from those in the Deaf community while as a blogger (and vlogger). It just gets surreal. Let me take that back. It is and has been and continues to be surreal as I look back now.

Tis what it is. Tis so.

But if ya ask me I say you've entered the Twilight Zone!

*insert sound of T.Z. music*

Some tend to be the "head of the pack" type of people who think they are the epitome of leadership quality.  Yeeeehaw! Whooeee! And all that stuff. Bunch of mirage, I'd say!

*rolls head back and laughs*

Giddyap!

But isn't it odd that these "leaders" try so hard to raise money, act friendly but at the same time take the time and effort to vilify people in blogs and vlogs their rants? When people ask, I shrug and point to some examples of such behaviors. I nod my head and exclaim with a whisper, "Yeah...watch out." And recommend they keep a tight hold on their wallets. You know the word "facade" doesn't always mean the front of a building.

CommUNITY ain't possible. The facade crumbles. Naked and exposed.

Just yesterday I ran across several Deaf people near my town in a small town Mom and Pop take out place. I noticed them signing and approached them by introducing myself. I had a nice but a brief 5 to 10 minutes conversation with them. Never seen them before and was told they lived nearby in a small town. Conversations were cut short as I sat down with my daughters while we waited for our food. For a moment I quickly remembered a time recently when I came across a bunch of HLAA people when one wore a HLAA badge. I also made the initiative to approach them and had some great verbal conversations with them as we talked and listened to each other. It lasted maybe twenty minutes. Then it hit me as I sat at my table. I realized the stark differences between the two groups of people when it came to communicating with people with hearing loss.  I was able to connect with them both using their communication preferences. That's sounds awful lot like commUNITY to me. You see, signing isn't everything and the only thing here. The key is to connect people with their communication preferences and needs. And not on political ideology alone because that will surely fail.

"Hey...there's a bunch of deaf/hh people signing! I'm gonna go over there and introduce myself!"

"Hey...there's a bunch of deaf/hh people with hearing aids and cochlear implants talking! F*ck 'em. They're losers!"

Here's the deal.

We're deaf. We're hard of hearing. People see themselves as hearing impaired. Some simply say, "I have a hearing loss." Some will say "I'm deaf" or "I'm hard of hearing," while fewer still say "I'm Deaf" by signing. Some wear cochlear implants. Many wear hearing aids. Some do not at all. Each of them has an opinion and preference when it comes to their own hearing loss, deafness, communication and language options. I don't begrudge them for that but the problem is that many people still do out of sheer pettiness. And they haven't gotten past that yet. And that's the sad thing.

*Twilight Zone music*

Dissing those who Choose

Jamie Berke has undertaken a major decision in her life and is now chronicling her story in the blog section of About.com:Deafness beginning with her first blog “Starting a New Phase of Life” that began one week ago. Of course, I believe many deaf and hard of hearing people are in support of her decision to have her cochlear implant done since she is, after all, an adult. She is capable of making her own decision. Apparently, there are the very few “sour-minds” out there who actually think what Jamie did amount to a traitorous action against those who are culturally deaf (or in this case the “Deaf community”) as seen in comment # 15.

You are definitely a real TRAITOR to the deaf community especially your deaf blog! I was totally RIGHT about you being a turncoat to the deaf community. Why in the world you get the CI? What for? Comment by *Gasp For Air* — February 20, 2008 @ 11:52 am.

Morons who behave like anonymous cowards they are by going after deaf and hard of hearing people by calling them “traitors” or “turncoats” are not representative of the deaf and hard of hearing community, much less the Deaf community (at least I hope not). Or make snarky remarks on what Jamie Berke is doing is helping “stimulate the economy and make money for a few companies/individuals” - which shows an obvious lack of support by those who think otherwise about cochlear implantation by deaf adults who choose to have them. Remarks like those simply paint an even darker picture about the Deaf community to be seen by the public as “unyielding,” “unsupportive,” “maligning,” “one dimensional in thinking,” or even “abusive.” It certainly doesn’t help the Deaf community whenever people go around screaming “ AGBAD! AGBAD! AGBAD! " instead of coming back down to earth a bit and address “AG Bell” as, what else, “AG Bell.” But it's sometimes even worse when the few use "AGBAD" disengeniously as an "innocent" use of the acronym (several times over) in a letter addressed to AG Bell (of which I have a copy of) in a disparaging manner hoping for a courteous reply from them in return. Ya think?

Blogs and vlogs have their pros and cons when it comes to informing the public but by being visible to them these bloggers/vloggers have certain responsibilities when it comes to representing their deaf and hard of hearing community. Or in this case, the Deaf community. Acting like a bunch of juveniles do not help the cause.

But sometimes these “sourpuss” mind types go a bit farther and claim that all deaf children or babies belong to them, that is, the Deaf community by terming these deaf babies as "our" deaf children. The fact is, deaf babies belong to no one community except to the parents of that deaf child. Aside from that, blatherings continue elsewhere about the true “evilness” of cochlear implants and so on. Quite disconcerting to see these things happen. Imagine the public who have no idea what the Deaf community is like and see these kinds of things for the first time and they have a deaf child. Do you think hearing parents would want their deaf child to be sucked into that kind of a group who think and act like that? I wouldn't. So, don't act so surprised.

Granted, these kinds of people who act or behave like that are in the extreme minority among those in the Deaf community, at least I hoping that is the case here. But you know what? Deaf and hard of hearing people can do anything, even hear. It's time to get rid of that old cliche' by I. King Jordan's famous quote, "Deaf people can do anything, except hear." Whether it is a hearing aid or a cochlear implant the gift of sound is not to be taken for granted. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to experience the beauty of sound and many people do not realize just how powerful sounds are to those who enjoy them. Like me and many others.

And so I end this blog piece that whenever people who act like a "sourpuss" or those who insist on having a "sour-like mind" enough for you to wince and pucker up seeing them behave like juveniles certainly deserve my "Sour Puss Stamp" of the day.



Jamie, don't worry about these "sour-mind" types of people. You are an adult. You made the decision and that Deaf people have no right to tell you how you should think and behave.