1. My 4-year-old daughter is deaf. She is not "Deaf" with a
capitol D. She simply has no hair cells in her cochlea, she has no
functioning inner ear. Even though she is deaf, she is not
automatically part of your little world of shame and exclusion, and her
native language is not ASL. It is not child abuse if we decide
to raise her in a household that speaks English. So: fuck you for
claiming her as your own, without a second thought to the wishes of her
parents.
2. We gave our daughter cochlear implants when she was an infant. We made this long and difficult decision based on the research that was available to us, based on the educational resources available in our area, based on the nature of her deafness, and, yes, based on our own biases and desires. She had her surgeries before she was old enough to make the choice for herself, because to wait so long means to give her hearing long after her developing brain can make the best use of it. It is a well-known and long-researched phenomenon that pre-lingual implantation leads to vastly improved speech and hearing skills. But you call it child abuse. You call it cosmetic surgery on an infant, and more than once you called me a monster for it. It is not child abuse, to make complicated decisions about your kids without their input - it's called parenting. Nor is it cosmetic to give my kid a developmental boost. So: fuck you for heaping accusations of pre-lingual cosmetic surgery child abuse on me.
3. Our family is learning ASL, and have been since we learned our daughter was profoundly deaf. We will use sign as a second language, indefinitely. My wife is in school to become an interpreter. Nor do we believe in a purely oralist tradition; we acknowledge the importance of communication between deaf people without assistance. We get it, ok? We're committed. But because we gave our daughter cochlear implants, you automatically believe that we're out to destroy ASL, to destroy Deaf culture. You never listen to our reasoning, because what do we know? We're motivated by a desire to mingle in both worlds, and yet we're constantly scoffed at by the Deafies on principle. So: fuck you for your pernicious false dichotomies.
4. Speaking of false dichotomies: what the hell do you mean by the "Hearing Community"? You mean the 99% of the world...with functional ears? They form a single community separate from your own? Because obviously it's the Deaf Community vs. the world. Yeah, fuck you and your false dichotomies, again.
5. It's funny how your handicap isn't a handicap. You aren't missing a major sensory organ, it's simply that you have chosen a primary language which is signed rather than spoken. You embrace and welcome the nature of your language and your community, and you are, you say, just as capable as any hearing person. I get it - it's not a handicap. It's not a disability. You feel that there's nothing wrong with your bodies. You aren't broken machines in need of repair. You're not incomplete people deserving of pity. You're a close-knit community because, I gather, there's a conspiracy of doctors and audiologists and educators and academics and hearing-aid industry types, who are, to a person, out to suck your wallets dry then utterly crush and humiliate you, simply because...they hate your lifestyle choice. But you look past all that. You're complete and beautiful human beings and you're happy with the way God created you. There's nothing wrong with being deaf. Deafness is beautiful! So fuck you for demanding - and happily accepting - constant special accommodation for your alleged non-handicap. (And fuck you for demanding respect and understanding from my family, without giving us any in return.)
6. Your precious ASL doesn't have a sweet simplicity; it's just as capricious and arbitrary and fucked-up as any other language. I mean, come on! In our current class, we're learning three - THREE - different signs for the word "car". Which you don't apparently use interchangeably. What the hell? It kind of messes up your principle of "conceptual accuracy". Especially considering that there are many signs for most common words. A lot of the difference is regional, but a lot is just "we do it this way, they do it that way". ASL is, simply, fragmented. English, at least, has standardized on "wh" question words: "who", "why", etc. But English, even in signed form, is "too ugly" for you. Fuck you and your "beautiful language" high horse.
7. ASL purists, who want to distance ASL from English as much as possible, who advocate removing as much fingerspelling from the language as possible, who want to remove as many initial letters ("T" for toilet, "B" for box, etc.) as possible... yeah, I see you fingerspelling common words, I see you happily using intial letters. Fuck you for...well, for being uppity elitists. Go drive a Hummer while you're at it.
8. ASL has no written form. It must use another language - the hated and maligned English - for written communication. Therefore, it's nigh-impossible to look up a new word by its sign. Therefore, memorization plays a much larger role in ASL than in most languages. Therefore, more effort goes into learning how to sign, when other kids are learning how to read and write. Guess what kind of impact that has on illiteracy rates? And...you seem to prefer it that way? Before I met y'all I thought the illiteracy was the result of educational and developmental difficulties. But the more Deaf people I meet, the more I find that you don't much care about reading and writing proper English. ASL and TV is all you need. So...yeah. Fuck you for that, too. By the way, my deaf daughter is learning how to read, you dipshits.
9. While I'm at it, Alexander Graham Bell has been dead for 86 fucking years. When he was alive, he didn't gas any Deaf babies, he didn't sterilize anyone. If you honestly believe that he wanted to prevent deaf people from reproducing, even when his mother and wife were deaf, then I honestly believe you're pretty damn stupid. At any rate, it's a vastly different world today than it was back then. Believe you me, there are plenty of other villains to worry about today. Fuck you for not getting over A.G. Bell already.
10. Again with the calling me an audist in denial of your beautiful heritage. Which is funny, because from my perspective, you're being "deafists" in denial of your own handicaps. But you don't see me calling you out on it several times a week. Fuck you and your utter lack of tact.
But mostly, fuck you for putting a claim on my kid. I've been at this for more than four years, and you're just getting more hostile at us hearing-family-with-deaf-child-who-has-cochlear-implants. Our world, the world of the hearing, the world we're raising our girl in, the world you loathe so much -- our world is fucked up, sure, but it's roses and cotton candy and day-long free pony rides compared to yours.
2. We gave our daughter cochlear implants when she was an infant. We made this long and difficult decision based on the research that was available to us, based on the educational resources available in our area, based on the nature of her deafness, and, yes, based on our own biases and desires. She had her surgeries before she was old enough to make the choice for herself, because to wait so long means to give her hearing long after her developing brain can make the best use of it. It is a well-known and long-researched phenomenon that pre-lingual implantation leads to vastly improved speech and hearing skills. But you call it child abuse. You call it cosmetic surgery on an infant, and more than once you called me a monster for it. It is not child abuse, to make complicated decisions about your kids without their input - it's called parenting. Nor is it cosmetic to give my kid a developmental boost. So: fuck you for heaping accusations of pre-lingual cosmetic surgery child abuse on me.
3. Our family is learning ASL, and have been since we learned our daughter was profoundly deaf. We will use sign as a second language, indefinitely. My wife is in school to become an interpreter. Nor do we believe in a purely oralist tradition; we acknowledge the importance of communication between deaf people without assistance. We get it, ok? We're committed. But because we gave our daughter cochlear implants, you automatically believe that we're out to destroy ASL, to destroy Deaf culture. You never listen to our reasoning, because what do we know? We're motivated by a desire to mingle in both worlds, and yet we're constantly scoffed at by the Deafies on principle. So: fuck you for your pernicious false dichotomies.
4. Speaking of false dichotomies: what the hell do you mean by the "Hearing Community"? You mean the 99% of the world...with functional ears? They form a single community separate from your own? Because obviously it's the Deaf Community vs. the world. Yeah, fuck you and your false dichotomies, again.
5. It's funny how your handicap isn't a handicap. You aren't missing a major sensory organ, it's simply that you have chosen a primary language which is signed rather than spoken. You embrace and welcome the nature of your language and your community, and you are, you say, just as capable as any hearing person. I get it - it's not a handicap. It's not a disability. You feel that there's nothing wrong with your bodies. You aren't broken machines in need of repair. You're not incomplete people deserving of pity. You're a close-knit community because, I gather, there's a conspiracy of doctors and audiologists and educators and academics and hearing-aid industry types, who are, to a person, out to suck your wallets dry then utterly crush and humiliate you, simply because...they hate your lifestyle choice. But you look past all that. You're complete and beautiful human beings and you're happy with the way God created you. There's nothing wrong with being deaf. Deafness is beautiful! So fuck you for demanding - and happily accepting - constant special accommodation for your alleged non-handicap. (And fuck you for demanding respect and understanding from my family, without giving us any in return.)
6. Your precious ASL doesn't have a sweet simplicity; it's just as capricious and arbitrary and fucked-up as any other language. I mean, come on! In our current class, we're learning three - THREE - different signs for the word "car". Which you don't apparently use interchangeably. What the hell? It kind of messes up your principle of "conceptual accuracy". Especially considering that there are many signs for most common words. A lot of the difference is regional, but a lot is just "we do it this way, they do it that way". ASL is, simply, fragmented. English, at least, has standardized on "wh" question words: "who", "why", etc. But English, even in signed form, is "too ugly" for you. Fuck you and your "beautiful language" high horse.
7. ASL purists, who want to distance ASL from English as much as possible, who advocate removing as much fingerspelling from the language as possible, who want to remove as many initial letters ("T" for toilet, "B" for box, etc.) as possible... yeah, I see you fingerspelling common words, I see you happily using intial letters. Fuck you for...well, for being uppity elitists. Go drive a Hummer while you're at it.
8. ASL has no written form. It must use another language - the hated and maligned English - for written communication. Therefore, it's nigh-impossible to look up a new word by its sign. Therefore, memorization plays a much larger role in ASL than in most languages. Therefore, more effort goes into learning how to sign, when other kids are learning how to read and write. Guess what kind of impact that has on illiteracy rates? And...you seem to prefer it that way? Before I met y'all I thought the illiteracy was the result of educational and developmental difficulties. But the more Deaf people I meet, the more I find that you don't much care about reading and writing proper English. ASL and TV is all you need. So...yeah. Fuck you for that, too. By the way, my deaf daughter is learning how to read, you dipshits.
9. While I'm at it, Alexander Graham Bell has been dead for 86 fucking years. When he was alive, he didn't gas any Deaf babies, he didn't sterilize anyone. If you honestly believe that he wanted to prevent deaf people from reproducing, even when his mother and wife were deaf, then I honestly believe you're pretty damn stupid. At any rate, it's a vastly different world today than it was back then. Believe you me, there are plenty of other villains to worry about today. Fuck you for not getting over A.G. Bell already.
10. Again with the calling me an audist in denial of your beautiful heritage. Which is funny, because from my perspective, you're being "deafists" in denial of your own handicaps. But you don't see me calling you out on it several times a week. Fuck you and your utter lack of tact.
But mostly, fuck you for putting a claim on my kid. I've been at this for more than four years, and you're just getting more hostile at us hearing-family-with-deaf-child-who-has-cochlear-implants. Our world, the world of the hearing, the world we're raising our girl in, the world you loathe so much -- our world is fucked up, sure, but it's roses and cotton candy and day-long free pony rides compared to yours.
