Not a victim...

Bullying comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. You have bullies who are hearing. You have bullies who are hard of hearing. You have bullies who are deaf. It does not matter who because a bully is a bully whether a kid or an adult. The same is true to form in the cyberworld and it's called cyberbullying (or internet bullying) which is not just done by kids but by adults as well. The goal of cyberbullying is essentially the same for a kid to that of an adult. Bullying is bullying whether done in person or over the internet. The goals are still the same.

There are several ways to commit cyberbullying acts through the internet using emails, videophone, chat rooms, discussion forums, blogging, or video blogging. Cyberbullying can be done anonymously or not. One of the tactics would be the public "hit and run" type by constantly attacking different people over the course of months or years, thus making a name for him or herself. The other kind of tactic would be done in a more sustained effort against one or few individuals that could last for years. The attacking style is usually done in the form of belittling, making false statements or claims, twisting of the words, making vicious and thoughtless comments, calling people names, contacting other people's employers, making veiled threats, making up stories, or even in the extreme wishing people dead. And then you have your enablers who supports a cyberbully either by ignoring or failing to recognize cyberbullying actions and attitudes which only helps continue the vicious cycle of hate.

But a person need not be a victim of cyberbullying only if the person allows it. The first step is to recognize that you're not a victim but instead recognize that the cyberbully needs psychological help. It is the cyberbully who doesn't know how to stop the hate and constant maligning. It is the cyberbully who craves attention or feel the need to have a sense of control over people by being overly vicious, manipulative, and maligning. Once you recognize those negative attributes and psychological needs you then have the power over the cyberbully.  The simplest and most effective way is to fully ignore the perpetrator.  As an adults we have that power.

I've been fortunate as never having been a victim because I have refused to see myself as a victim in any circumstances. I have always recognized it is the perpetrators who have problems, and not me. It is the perpetrators who are ignorant of their bullying ways using their own denials as a cover. Sometimes in an act of contrivance fakes their so-called remorse for their bullying ways when true actions speak louder than words. I just shake my head whenever people who have tried to bully me in the past whether in person or online because I see how sad their actions and attitudes have become knowing that they are the ones who need serious help. Because once a bully always a bully in any form. Their aim has been all about exerting certain "control" over people with their bullying ways but the real secret is that bullies can never see for themselves that they are the ones who are out of control. A denial in perpetual making.

That is exactly how an addict would behave by denying that he or she has a serious problem. Just like when cyberbullying or online bullying becomes an addictive behavior in a never ending but vicious cycle of hate. Your best bet in most cases? Walk away and ignore the cyberbully because you can never reason with an addict who thrives on hate.

Important truths.....

Just when you think you know it all out comes the truths when people tried to obscure them in so many ways but really it's about diversity and respect.

Truth #1: Dr. E.M. Gallaudet started it first several years after the Milan Conference of 1880 by agreeing that "oral teaching should be included" and believed that "the oral method as a necessity in any system that aimed to reach the highest good of the deaf." Although he does support sign language as well, the oral-aural component simply cannot be ignored coming from Dr. E.M. Gallaudet. 

Yet, technology today has changed everything in terms of how we approach language and the various communication methods that are out there. That cannot be ignored and how it impacts people with hearing loss. Even social interactions and the outcomes are much different today than it was 20 years ago simply because the internet was barely on the radar and 30 years ago the internet wasn't even around. Today we have the internet, video phone, chat features, CART, closed captioning, face to face technology such as the UbiDuo, discussion forums, blogs, vlogs, YouTube, Facebook, smart phones, and so on. The socialization aspect on how we interact with people, deaf and hearing) has certainly changed and that there are many levels of socialization nowadays.

Truth #2: ICED issued a global call to "accept and respect all languages and all forms of communication" in the education of deaf and hard of hearing people. This is a simple and straight-forward if not common sense announcement.  Although there are no mention of how its done or whether one method or approach would be satisfactory enough or the combining with other methods for a more rounder, comprehensive approach that's more suitable. No. Nothing like that. Just that people simply need to accept and respect all languages and all forms of communication when it comes to the education of deaf and hard of hearing people. Short, sweet and to the point.

Truth #3: Diversity is real. It's a natural feature to be expected from people with a variety hearing loss ranging from mild to profound who have various preferences on how to communicate. Marlee Matlin made it abundantly clear when it comes to diversity

I sign, I support deaf culture. And I support ALL CHOICES of communication, all kinds of people. If you don’t like my choices, well….

Ain't that the truth? And there are people who do not like to offer or support choices but make these demands on mandatory requirements instead.

Truth #4:  Parents of children with hearing loss hold the trump card on making a decisions regarding communication methods, language development, and eduction for their child. All we can hope is that parents will have enough information to make an informed decision. People cannot force parents to do their bidding. It's a fact of life, parents are the ones to who make these informed decisions. Not you or anybody else. The best thing people can do is to supply parents with all of the necessary information that are balanced and unbiased.

Truth #5: Be comfortable for who you are and not about what you are. If you love to talk and listen, so be it. If you love to sign and watch, so be it. Just don't become lemmings.